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George

George Louis Costanza

George Louis Costanza. There, I wrote it. I have now done 20 peripheral characters and decided to finally do one of the main 4. Just writing down George's full name gives me a sense of awe. I tremble before it. I fear its awesome power. The initials GLC represent more than a high score in a game of Frogger, as Frogger does not keep scores with initials. They represent one of the greatest and most memorable television characters of all time, ranked with the likes of Lucy Arnez, Mary Tyler Moore, Dick Van Dyke, Dobey Gillis, Gilligan, and Frasier Krane. The common link however between those legendary figures of TV is that the show was named after them, as they were the star of their respective shows. The name of George's show however is Jerry or Seinfeld in real life. That said, the show could've been called George as the real life Jerry has said in the past. (See Jerry Seinfeld: The Entire Domain by Kathleen Tracy)

JERRY: What is that, a 12 gauge?
OFFICER #1: Yeah.
JERRY: 12 gauge. Seems to be the most popular gauge.
GEORGE: My favorite.
JERRY: Mine too, love the 12 gauge. - 4:2 The Trip Part 2

This can also be demonstrated to be true in two ways.
1. The obvious way, in that George was the central character in many eps and provided many of the laughs.
2. Being based on LD, and that LD wrote or touched every episode in some way, put LD/George at the forefront. Although it is called Seinfeld, and Jerry's comedy bits enclose most eps, and many eps relate to his style of observational humor, it is LD's nutty, dark, and disturbed brand of comedy and sense of humor that really pervade every aspect of every episode. Again, Jerry has agreed with these statements in the past as well. (Tracy)

NOW, after giving George's importance and giving LD his props, I will now turn to the man who portrayed him, Jason Alexander.

JERRY: What is that, a 12 gauge?
OFFICER #1: Yeah.
JERRY: 12 gauge. Seems to be the most popular gauge.
GEORGE: My favorite.
JERRY: Mine too, love the 12 gauge. - 4:2 The Trip Part 2

Jason is a brilliant comedic actor as well as all around actor. From his roles in Duckman, Dunston Checks In, CYE, Blankman, Hunchback of Notre Dame, the TV version of Bye Bye Birdie, Shallow Hal, and Pretty Woman, one can clearly see his acting range. However, he will, whether he likes it or not, always be known as George. Get info from IMDB about him -CHECK!

JERRY: What is that, a 12 gauge?
OFFICER #1: Yeah.
JERRY: 12 gauge. Seems to be the most popular gauge.
GEORGE: My favorite.
JERRY: Mine too, love the 12 gauge. - 4:2 The Trip Part 2

Having written about all aspects of George except the character himself, I will now attempt to do so. Be warned however, that I am about to basically write down every episode of Seinfeld because that is the only way to fully show George. On the other hand, you could simply watch every episode, or scroll down to the bottom of this page for his stats.

JERRY: What is that, a 12 gauge?
OFFICER #1: Yeah.
JERRY: 12 gauge. Seems to be the most popular gauge.
GEORGE: My favorite.
JERRY: Mine too, love the 12 gauge. - 4:2 The Trip Part 2

George AKA Georgie Boy, Biff, Georgie, Stupid, Koko The Monkey, Gammy, T-Bone, Costanza - Lord of the Idiots, Can't Stand Ya, Buck Naked, and Art Vandelay is as everyone knows, a short, stocky, slow-witted, or quirky, bald man. However what you don't know, forgot, didn't want to know, or really cared about is that George is a charmingly complex yet simple, brilliant yet idiotic, master liar yet terrible liar, weak yet powerful, hairless yet hairful, 20/20 vision yet blind as a bat, and above all, can never get sex yet matches Don Juan DeMarco with how many women he's slept with, not to mention beating Elaine and Kramer (and Jerry, if not for Susan).

JERRY: What is that, a 12 gauge?
OFFICER #1: Yeah.
JERRY: 12 gauge. Seems to be the most popular gauge.
GEORGE: My favorite.
JERRY: Mine too, love the 12 gauge. - 4:2 The Trip Part 2

George had an interesting childhood to say the least, the very least. He either grew up in Bayside or somewhere in Queens or Long Island. He met Jerry and became best friends with him in the 5th grade, when Jerry also beat him up, yet also first met in their Junior High school in gym class - CHECK!. He was given dolls for X-Mas, until his father, Frank, discovered the holiday of Festivus. He was afraid to blow out the candles on his 10th -CHECK b-day, so Frank yelled @ him that he was weak and Estelle, his mom, yelled @ Frank. This tradition would go on until the day he died, or at least went to jail in 9:24 The Finale Part 2. His childhood was not all bad, as they did go on family trips across the US when he was 6 - CHECK, Af Al Pi his mom still changed him @ that point. George and Jerry then went to Edward R. Murrow - CHECK where George was given wedgies and got a gym teacher fired. Later, in JFK HS -CHECK, George's greatest moment of his life was done - the high score in Frogger, which became a child to him when he rediscovered said game and saw that in 30 years - CHECK, no one had beaten said score. (9:18 The Frogger)

As an adult, George looks back @ his childhood with negativity. He only remembers the bad. Perhaps there was only bad. His childhood was plagued by Lloyd Braun, a childhood friend, whom Estelle always compared George to. This caused George to hate Lloyd later in life, as an adult. Although George hated Lloyd, and was best friends with Jerry, we also know two more people that grew up with George: Deena, a neighbor from the hood and Duncan Meyers, a high school friend who beat Jerry in the race of all races, of which only George knows that Jerry had a head start. Besides this, George's childhood friends remain a mystery. Odds are that George didn't have any other friends, as he even had to make up Whitey Fisk, the summer version of Jerry, who snuck George into Last Tango in Paris, which having never seen it myself, is supposedly very erotic, which at this point in my life, is considered to be a good thing. In summary, George's childhood paints us a picture of sadness, depression, misery, loneliness, and above all, failure.

JERRY: What is that, a 12 gauge?
OFFICER #1: Yeah.
JERRY: 12 gauge. Seems to be the most popular gauge.
GEORGE: My favorite.
JERRY: Mine too, love the 12 gauge. - 4:2 The Trip Part 2

This happy note continues on as George goes to college, although we're not sure which one, but we do know that he had a roommate that had a non-circumsized member while at this illustrious school. The first job we see George at is real estate, working at Rick Newbar Properties, where it seems he is doing okay, but ends up getting fired for screaming at his boss, whose name may or may not be Rick Newbar, for not allowing him to use his private bathroom, which becomes quite ironic in 9:2 The Voice. George seems to have a fair amount of dates for someone in his position, which is that of not exactly being a hunk and unemployed, trying various things along the way (see Stats below for full details). George pretty much hits rock bottom when Kramer asks him a series of humiliating and extremely depressing questions as to why George should even get out of bed in the morning, to which George pathetically responds, "I like to get the Daily News." (3:23 The Keys)Even though George dates Susan for an extremely long time, he ends up driving her to lesbianism, a more insulting and ego-shattering event, I cannot recall lo these many years.

JERRY: What is that, a 12 gauge?
OFFICER #1: Yeah.
JERRY: 12 gauge. Seems to be the most popular gauge.
GEORGE: My favorite.
JERRY: Mine too, love the 12 gauge. - 4:2 The Trip Part 2

At last, when George finally gives up on every thing he has ever done in his life as one big stinking pile of failure, he decides (with a little help from Jerry), to do 5:22 The Opposite. From that point on, this watershed moment, in the most important episode of George's life, as well as perhaps the television show of Seinfeld, George's life takes a turn for the positive. His job with the New York Yankees is prestigious and by going through his personal file at work, he is not only able to maintain his position in the "House that Ruth Built", but actually gets promoted, TWICE!, well sort of, but at least once for sure. He continually sleeps with various women and then pops the question to his old flame, Susan, who, after much convincing, like those guys in the movies, although I don't recall guys in the movies begging women to marry them, to marry him. As we all know, George tries to get the wedding cancelled after some thought, and gets his wish, with LD's final episode, 7:24 The Invitations, where George manages to use his miser character trait in buying cheap, toxic, wedding envelopes, thereby killing his fiance, with an accento on the "e".

After that tragic, yet hilarious event occurs, George goes through some more women while Susan's memory lives on, plaguing George's freedom in the form of The Susan Ross Foundation, thanks to Jerry and a couple of Star Trek movies, neither of which has been seen by this TNG Trekkie. Finally, George switches jobs after years of loyal service to the Bronx Bombers, and works at Play Now and then ends Seinfeld with Kruger Industrial Smoothing.

George has had the most jobs by far of all of the characters in Seinfeld and they often provide the basis for hilarious settings, outrageous characters, and side-splitting stories. When you compare all of the characters and scenes that take place at George's various jobs, to Elaine's Pendant Publishing, Mr. Pitt, and The J. Peterman Catalog, Kramer's H&H Bagels, and Jerry's standup comedy clubs, George and his various occupational decisions bring Seinfeld to life, and without them, the show would not be what it is.

JERRY: What is that, a 12 gauge?
OFFICER #1: Yeah.
JERRY: 12 gauge. Seems to be the most popular gauge.
GEORGE: My favorite.
JERRY: Mine too, love the 12 gauge. - 4:2 The Trip Part 2

Things to add:

A section devoted to Art Vandelay

We know so much information about this pivotal character, that the best way to see all of the information is by scrolling down to his stats. However, here are some interesting tidbits about George, in no particular order, and if these statements appear at random and of a stream of consciousness type, then you must be very perceptive.

Single most destructive - CHECK event in his life was breaking the statue, but only after seeing his father naked. This happened again when he saw his parents going at it in a van in Central Park. Nudity and sex is a theme for George - his mom caught him in the bathroom, . . . alone. He was short changed by Rachel, got caught eating garbage, doesn't wear a shirt in the bathroom, like me, because you have to read something!, imitates Alton well, Lifee the crowd, loves saying sweethart (yes the spelling is on purpose for the correct pronounciation), snorting, taking off his glasses, saying ho ho after particularly annoying situations, and ending sentences with the word "baby". He always dreamed of being an architect and having sex with a really tall woman, has a great name if he would ever be a porn star - Buck Naked, would drape himself in velvet if it was socially acceptable or acceptable to his girlfriend at least, pretends to be an architect, a marine biologist, a person able to hire others at K.I.S., the bad boy, near fatally injured @ NYY, a hardware store worker, a latex salesman, and 5"8 - CHECK. He sometimes orders what he feels, was scared that it moved when it wasn't touched, which is not the test, contrary to popular opinion, gets a piece, where he looks incredible I must say, knowing that I have a staunch record of heterosexuality, has eaten an ostrich burger, and is extremely proud of it and quite knowledgable about its nutrional value, and pudding skin 1x.

JERRY: What is that, a 12 gauge?
OFFICER #1: Yeah.
JERRY: 12 gauge. Seems to be the most popular gauge.
GEORGE: My favorite.
JERRY: Mine too, love the 12 gauge. - 4:2 The Trip Part 2

George is the loser of the group, no matter how much he thinks that it's actually Elaine. He's the putz, the yutz, the schmuck, the fall guy, the guy who never gets the girl, as Jason Alexander explains to LD in CYE. Although, LD was probably defending his beloved character, obviously based on himself, for laughs, George is definitely not a loser. He is a human dynamo. He is a hilarious, neurotic, nut. He will be beloved by audiences for as long as Seinfeld is shown on re-runs, and played on countless DVD players all over the world. He is sadistic and needs years and years of psychotherapy from a team of scientists, like in The Elephant Man. With all of this, he still leads a pretty sweet life, and definitely will never have a boring one with character traits like his. I will let one of his last co-workers sum him up with the greatest description of all time:

"You're a perfect George."

JERRY: What is that, a 12 gauge?
OFFICER #1: Yeah.
JERRY: 12 gauge. Seems to be the most popular gauge.
GEORGE: My favorite.
JERRY: Mine too, love the 12 gauge. - 4:2 The Trip Part 2

Stats


2nd Siyum

MAIN STATS
Baby = 9 (plus 2 Jerry)
Biff = 8
Crazy Look = 3
Date/Girlfriend = 60
Did you just see what happened here? = 2
Glasses (Taking them off and on) = 28 (plus 1 Jerry)
Ho Ho = 11 (plus 1 Jerry in 9:20 The Puerto Rican Day)
Jobs = 6
Leaving midsentence on Steinbrenner = 5
Name in 3rd Person = 3
Perents = 30 (plus 1 grandperents in 1:3 The Robbery)
Rambling Rant = 4
Slaps to head = 6 (+1 by Estelle in 5:7 The Non-fat Yogurt)
Snort = 43 (plus 1 Elaine in 8:4 The Little Kicks, plus 1 construction worker - 8:16 The Pothole) Sweethart = 7
Vandelay = 8

George’s Idiot Things
Can’t drink coffee, keeps me up - 2:4 The Phone Message
Quit b/c can’t use boss’s private bathroom - 2:7 The Revenge
Asks for 4 dollars after humiliating IRS girl - 3:2 The Truth
Will I ever see you again? - 3:13 The Subway
Sports team’s plane should crash to Keith Hernandez - 3:17 The Boyfriend Part 1
Won’t budge and walks out on NBC pitch - 4:3 The Pitch
Says “masterbation” at 2nd NBC Meeting - 4:4 The Ticket
Won’t take $13,000 to write the show - 4:5 The Wallet (The Watch Part 1)
Never gave me back change from the tolls to Susan after the cabin is burning down - 4:7 The Bubble Boy
Kisses Susan at NBC meeting - 4:10 The Virgin
Stares at cleavage of Molly Dalrimple - 4:16 The Shoes
Says to Karen that she is very good at faking orgasms after performing over par - 5:1 The Mango
Tells Jerry’s apartment number to owner of dog of which the air coniditioner fell - 5:3 The Glasses
Instead of shutting up and having sex with Karen, he insists on discussing whether Jody liked him or not - 5:9 The Masseuse
Chooses Jodi over Karen - 5:9 The Masseuse
Told Elaine that he paid for the big salad - 6:2 The Big Salad
Asks for food, wants to turn off the lights, wants the wife to be quiet, wants Remi’s seat, spills grape juice on their couch - 6:5 The Couch
Does his manure bit - 6:7 The Soup
“I’m giving you a raise” - 6:9 The Secretary
Arguing about Seven while Carrie is going into labor - 7:13 The Seven
“You know, you're really being very selfish. It would be nice if you would think of someone other than yourself every now and then!” to Carrie while in labor at the hospital - 7:13 The Seven
Tells Marisa Tomei that he is sort of engaged - 7:15 The Cadillac Part 2
Tells Marisa Tomei that Susan died, the funeral is tomorrow, and that his weekend is wide open - 7:24 The Invitations
Asks for Neil’s phone number instead of Danielle’s - 8:17 The English Patient
“You know, you could've just given me Neil's number. You..you didn't have to take me out to dinner.” - 8:17 The English Patient
When Danielle says “You know, I don't have to be up in the morning, and I know a great breakfast place, right around the corner.”, George answers “Does Neil like to eat a big breakfast?” - 8:17 The English Patient
When Danielle says “Why don't you come in? We'll take about it.”, George replies “I really should get going. Y'know, I..I wanna be home in case Neil calls.” - 8:17 The English Patient
When Danielle says “Well, goodnight.”and she leans toward George, for a kiss, George walks away.8:17 The English Patient

Measurements
George - 40 Short

George’s Jobs
Real Estate with Rick Newbar
Real Estate again - (Not really, check Kathleen Tracy's Episode Guide)
Pendant Publishing
Co-writer of Jerry for NBC
Tuttle
New York Yankees - Assistant to the traveling secretary
New York Yankees - Higher position than previous
New York Yankees - Wilhelm’s position
Tyler Chicken - Hen supervisor
Play Now - Employee
Kruger Industrial Smoothing - Position unknown

Dates/Boyfriends/Girlfriends
Marlene - 2:1 The Ex-Girlfriend
Carol - 2:4 The Phone Message
Tatiana - 2:11 The Chinese Restaurant
Patrice - 3:2 The Truth
Monica - 3:7 The Café
Audrey - 3:9 The Nose Job
Ava - 3:10 The Stranded
Evie, the Cleaning Woman - 3:12 The Red Dot
Noel - 3:14 The Pez Dispenser
Cynthia - 3:16 The Fix-up
Carrie Sokol - 3:18 The Boyfriend Part 2
Robin - 3:20 The Good Samaritan
Susan (1st Time) - 4:3 The Pitch -> 4:10 The Virgin
Susan (2nd Time) - 4:13 The Pick
Cheryl Fong - 4:15 The Visa
Allison - 4:17 The Outing
Sid Field’s Senagalese Housekeeper - 4:18 The Old Man
Betsy - 4:19 The Implant
Karen (1st Time) - 5:1 The Mango
Gwen - 5:6 The Lip Reader
Karen (2nd Time) - 5:9 The Masseuse
Sylvia - 5:10 The Cigar Store Indian
Sasha - 5:11 The Conversion
Diane DeConn - 5:14 The Marine Biologist
Daphne Bauer - 5:16 The Stand In
Robin - 5:20 The Fire
Jane - 5:21 The Hamptons
Victoria - 5:22 The Opposite
Julie - 6:2 The Big Salad
Lindsay Enright - 6:6 The Gymnast
Kelly - 6:7 The Soup (*Same actress as Marlene)
Ada - 6:9 The Secretary
Nina - 6:11 The Switch
Bonnie - 6:12 The Label Maker
Denise - 6:16 The Beard
Paula - 6:20 The Doodle
Nancy Clopper - 6:21 The Fusilli Jerry
Siena - 6:23 The Face Painter
Alice - 7:1 The Engagement
Susan (3rd and final) - 7:1 The Engagement
Amanda - 8:3 The Bizarro Jerry
Anna - 8:4 The Little Kicks
Sheila - 8:5 The Package
Heather - 8:8 The Chicken Roaster
Louise - 8:9 The Abstinence
Portugese Waitress - 8:9 The Abstinence
Celia Morgan - 8:11 The Little Jerry
Allison - 8:15 The Susie
Danielle - 8:17 The English Patient
Marcy - 8:19 The Yada Yada
Mary Anne - 8:21 The Muffin Tops
Tara - 9:4 The Blood
Vivian - 9:4 The Blood
Rhisa Costanza - 9:5 The Junk Mail
Miranda - 9:6 The Merv Griffin Show
Nina - 9:8 The Betrayal
Janet - 9:13 The Cartoon
Maura - 9:14 The Strongbox
Loretta - 9:14 The Strongbox
Unknown - 9:18 The Frogger

Girls George Broke Up With
Marlene - Too annoying
Patrice - Earrings, Chopsticks, Pretentious, and enunciates everything and sometimes pronounces words incorrectly
Alice - Beat him at chess after he was very cocky about winning and made male chauvinistic remarks, also because she says the line “Happy Pappy?”
Amanda - He was in the walls
Janet - She-Jerry

Girls Who Broke Up With George
Noel - Elaine laughed during her piano performance
Carrie Sokol - He’s a bum, wants to work in hardware store
Susan (1st Time)- He kissed her in the NBC meeting
Susan (2nd Time) - He picked his nose
Cheryl Fong - He’s so disturbed that he made Jerry not be funny
Betsy - Fought with brother over double-dip
Karen (1st Time) - Claimed she faked her orgasm
Gwen - Possibly b/c of his ice cream eating habits
Karen (2nd Time) - Chooses Jody
Diane DeConn - Lied about being a marine biologist
Daphne Bauer - Left him for Pachyderm
Robin - Ran out of fire
Jane - Shrinkage
Julie - Brought up big salad
Kelly - Manure
Denise - Wants a slimmer guy
Nancy Clopper - Cheated on the move
Louise - Won’t have sex with her
Allison - Not ready for a serious relationship
Tara - Flew to close to the sun on wings of pastrami
Nina - Reason unknown


3rd Siyum

MAIN STATS
Feeding = 2