Our Summary

Our Commentary

But now, a few months after watching the ep at hand, I will attempt to do so.

This episode contains so many classic scenes that I'd like to start with, such as Jo Fly or Marjorie - Sweet Hart, but I will try and control myself and do it in order, Top 5 style. Here we go:

We start the ep off with Mr. T telling George not to act the fool, continuing from the end of the last episode, 9:1 The Butter Shave, where George was seen by Mr T lifting a 200 pound motorized cart with one hand, which gives us proof of another detail about George - the man is a powerhouse. So, when Elaine was explaining George to her friend in 3:16 The Fix-up and said that he's powerful, she wasn't lying. George now tries to get away with it, saying he had some adrenaline rush or something, and tries to weasel his way out with a solid logical connection of The Incredible Hulk, but then adds a nonsensical, if that is even a word, just b/c it's another comic book character, Spider Man. We then get a very oft-quoted line in the house that Somer built, of "Clearer" pronounced George-style, "Clearaa". Cut to Monk's where George replies to Jerry asking him if he's gonna stay at Play Now: "Why not? Pay is good. (NORMAL) I got dental, (NORMAL) private access to one of the great handicapped toilets in the city. (HILARIOUS)."

We then start doing the voice between George and Jerry, Puddy shows up, backsliding with Elaine, a cute:
ELAINE: "My Puddy? But we broke up."
JERRY: "And yet he continues to live."

Then Puddy calls Elaine hilariously by her last name of Benes, even though they've gone out so many times already. Cut to Jerry's place where we get the second part of the 2 parter of Jerry throwing out things that touch a bathroom object, this time his belt, and in 9:1 The Butter Shave, it was his shoe lace. Then "a sliding scale", the voice done between Jerry and Kramer, and then one great scene after another, making a huge great scene, which we'll go through, mini-scene by mini-scene:

(Kramer is reading the newspaper at the table)
KRAMER: Look at this, they are redoing the Cloud Club.
JERRY: Oh, that restaurant on top of the Chrysler building? Yeah, that’s a good idea.
KRAMER: Of course it’s a good idea, it’s my idea. I conceived this whole project two years ago. (Hilarious)
JERRY: Which part? The renovating the restaurant you don’t own part or spending the two hundred million you don’t have part?
KRAMER: (Totally ignoring Jerry) You see I come up with these things, I know they’re gold, but nothing happens. You know why?
JERRY: No resources, no skill, no talent, no ability, no brains.
KRAMER: (interrupts) No, no…time! It’s all this meaningless time. Laundry, grocery, shopping, coming in here talking to you. Do you have any idea how much time I waste in this apartment?
JERRY: I can ball park it.
ELAINE: (doing the voice) Hello-o-o-o!
KRAMER: Here we go; now she comes in. Now my whole day is shot!
JERRY: Hey, I called you last night, where were you?
ELAINE: (looking VERY guilty) I went out with a (fake cough) a friend.
JERRY: George?
ELAINE: (looking guiltier) No, no…no.
JERRY: Well, I was here, that’s everyone (laughing).
ELAINE: (laughing). (Hilarious, sad, yet true)
JERRY: Are those the same shoes as yesterday?
ELAINE: Oh, you know I wear these shoes all the time.
JERRY: Your hair, it’s somewhat de-poofed.
ELAINE: It’s the new look. You know Heroin Cheek? (Now, the person who transcribed this script, Ivy, to whom we thank, writes this as "Heroin Cheek", but I always thought it was "Heroin Chic", however, we may both be wrong and it might actually be "Heroine Chick")
JERRY: Wait a second, what’s going on here?
ELAINE: Nothing, nothing.
JERRY: (screams).
ELAINE: (screams).
JERRY: You’re wearing the same clothes as yesterday!!! (pauses) You saw Puddy!
KRAMER: Hoochie moochie. (haha) (Nice)
JERRY: Hand it over. Pay up.
ELAINE: No! It’s an isolated, sexual incident. We are not back together!
JERRY: Then what do you call it? People don’t just bump into each other and have sex. This isn’t cinemax. (Nice and also kudos to Ivy, by NOT capitalizing Cinemax, as it is properly written as cinemax)
ELAINE: It was no big deal OK? I mean we fooled around, then we went out and grabbed a little dinner.
JERRY: Ah, dinner! That’s it, you’re all the way back!
ELAINE: Ugh!
JERRY: Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner; that’s heavy. That’s like an hour. (Hilarious)
KRAMER: (still reading the paper) Man, 2.9 percent financing on a Toyota Onedun (Sp?). That was my idea too! (Hilarious)

Cut to Play Now, where George alerts Glenn that he heard "go to hell" already, and then we cut to Jerry's place, where we meet Darin for the first time. Before we get into this scene, I invite each and every one of you to take a good hard look and visit the original Seinfeld fan site, The No Name Seinfeld Characters Web Site, which stopped after 2 characters, made by yours truly and JJ. The first character and first page devoted to Seinfeld began with Darin, which started as an act of insanity/boredom one summer afternoon. After JJ insisted that Darin reminded him of Garrett Barten, a friend from our younger years. And so we set about creating those few pages of HTML, capturing the audio into huge WAV files, and attempting to locate a picture of Darin, as we did not have the episodes on DVD or on the computer at that time. This humble attempt at comedy and web authoring evolved into this awesome site that you see before you today. That said, let us welcome in Darin/Garrett with open arms as we describe his first and only foray into the universe of Seinfeld:

KRAMER: …So that’s the bedroom. Here’s the bathroom. If you need to, you can familiarize yourself with the kitchen…Yeah, go ahead and look through some of the drawers. (Hilarious)
JERRY: And you are?
DARIN: Oh, hey, I’m Darin. I’m new here. (First of all, hilarious. Darin actually thinks this is some sort of workplace, as he is "new here!". But more importantly, this is the line that started it all ladies and gents. "Oh hey, I'm [deep voice] Garrett." Yes, this line became repeated so many times throughout the halls of Long Island and Manhattan that while watching this episode, one waits for the line and says "Garrett" while Darin says "Darin", as it should be Garrett.)
KRAMER: Yeah, that’s Jerry, you don’t have to worry about him. (Hilarious) Why don’t you go across the hall and get started on that mail.
DARIN: Right!
KRAMER: He’s a go getter!
JERRY: Who’s he?
KRAMER: My intern from NYU. (NYU, my alma mater, just in case you wanted to know) Well, you remember my corporation, Kramerica Industries.
JERRY: Alright.
KRAMER: Well, apparently NYU is very enthusiastic about their students getting some real world corporate experience.
JERRY: But you only provide fantasy world corporate experience. (Nice)

Kramer tells us about his rather good idea about bladder system for oil tankers, George tells us in a famous line, "some sort of a bunker", but first a line that is not in my episode, "Siege mentality, Jerry. They really want me out of here." But actually, not just a line, as I now see, but a whole hilarious scene, solidifying the episode's entry into the Top 5. I'll include the whole thing for those of you, like me, have an edited, syndicated version:

(phone rings) JERRY: Hello
GEORGE: (doing the voice) Hello-o-o-o. (He’s sitting on the floor in his Play Now office).
JERRY: (doing the voice) Hello-o-o-o. (pauses) So, what’s going on?
GEORGE: Siege mentality, Jerry. They really want me out of here. They’ve downgraded me to some sort of a bunker. I’m like Hitler’s last days here.
JERRY: So, are you going to leave?
GEORGE: Oh no! I’m vigilant. They’ll never get me out. I’m like a weed, Jerry.
JERRY: I thought you’re like Hitler in the bunker? (HILARIOUS!)
GEORGE: I’m a weed in Hitler’s bunker. (HILARIOUS!)
JERRY: I’m getting a little uncomfortable with the Hitler stuff. (HILARIOUS!)
(his other line beeps) I’m getting another call, see ya…(answers call) Hello!

Then another hilarious scene coming off the heels of that "new" scene:

DARIN: Hi, this is Darin from Kramer’s office. Mr. Kramer would like to schedule a lunch with you at Monk’s coffee shop.
JERRY: (looking shocked) Really? When?
DARIN: In 10 minutes. Do you need directions? (First of all, hilarious. Second, Darin doesn't think it's strange to call someone across the hall "to schedule a lunch" and that it's in 10 minutes. What kind of a business is this?)
JERRY: No, I don’t. (Super insulted b/c he goes there every 10 seconds)
DARIN: Well, I’ll call back in 5 minutes to confirm. (Again, hilarious and doesn't he think it's strange to call back to confirm in 5 minutes!)
KRAMER: Yeah, 5. (Hilarious how he says it)
ELAINE: Hey!
JERRY: Hey! So, where’s my money?
ELAINE: No money, I am Puddy free. So, are we eating or what?
JERRY: Oh yeah, hold on.
(Jerry calls Kramer and Darin answers)
JERRY: Hello Darin, this is Jerry from Jerry’s office. (Super hilarious) (Elaine is looking confused). We’re going to be three for lunch. (Elaine is still looking confused) What do you mean he’s already left?
(Kramer walks in)
JERRY: Hey, Elaine is going to come with us, alright?
KRAMER: What? When did this happen?
JERRY: Well, just…
KRAMER: (yelling) Darin! (And I fall on the floor dying of laughter)

Cut to Elaine's place to get her back with Puddy and then to Monk's for another hilarious scene as well as the second audio clip on the The No Name Seinfeld Characters Web Site:

GEORGE: Well, Play Now is through playing. They turned the heat way up in my office. They tried to sweat me out.
JERRY: Do you have to write all this stuff down.
DARIN: Well, Mr. Kramer is in a meeting with Mr. Lomez and he didn’t want to miss anything. (Hilarious that he's having a meeting with Lomez, and that every character is a Mr.)
JERRY: So, how hot did it get?
GEORGE: I don’t know, 120, 130…Then they sent some guys to sandblast for 6 hours. Tomorrow they are putting in asbestos. (Hilarious)
JERRY: I guess you can take anything, but actual work.
GEORGE: Bring it on!
(Kramer walks in)
GEORGE: (doing the voice) Hello-o-o-o Kramer!
JERRY: (doing the voice) Wel-l-l-c-o-m-e!
GEORGE: (doing the voice) La la la.
KRAMER: Sorry I couldn’t get out of there, what did I miss? (asking his "intern") (He couldn't get out of there!!!)
DARIN: Well, after ordering, Mr. Seinfeld and Mr. Costanza debated on whether or not iron man wore some sort under garment between his skin and his iron suit…
KRAMER: Uh huh… (Like this is super important to him!)
GEORGE: (Interrupts) And I still say he’s naked under there!
JERRY: Oh that makes a lot of sense.
GEORGE: Oh, shut up!
DARIN: …Then Mr. Seinfeld went to the restroom, at which point Mr. Costanza scooped ice out of Mr. Seinfeld’s drink with his bare hands using it to wash up (Jerry is taking a sip of water and looking mad) then Mr. Costanza remarked to me, "This never happened." (Jerry then spits out the water).
(George is looking pissed off, [I'd say embarrassed])

Stimply hilarious. We then cut to Jerry's place, where Claire finds out about the voice, thinks that he's making fun of her, that she is fat, and then the third audio clip on the The No Name Seinfeld Characters Web Site:

(Darin walks in)
DARIN: Mr. Kramer says, "hey buddy!" (Kramer instructed him to say "hey buddy" b/c that's what Kramer would do when entering Jerry's place to get some food)
JERRY: Hey, we’re kind of in the middle of something here. Would you mind coming back later? (Like this is a private moment, get out of my apt.)
DARIN: Oh yeah sure, sure. Should we set something up now? (Totally immersed in his corporate internship, he pulls out his notepad to "set something up")
JERRY: (Screams) GET OUT!

Hilarious. Then a funny line about the Kool-ade guy, mostly water weight, "Boysenberry, the kid is still learning", nothing before noon, Jerry's phone being line one, then cut to Elaine's place, where a great exchange between Elaine and Puddy is on display, "It's brutal", and then cut to Play Now, where one of the most oft quoted lines in the house that Somer built is said by one George Louis Costanza: "(whistling)….(laughing)….Alright……OK….", then George hilariously climbs through the air vent into his office and says one of the greatest "stickin' it to the man" lines ever: "(on phone – calling secretary) Hello Margery, George Costanza. How are you sweet heart? (Actually SWEETHART)Listen, can you give Mr. Thomassoulo a message for me? …Yes. If he needs me, tell him (screams) I’M IN MY OFFICE! Thanks."

We then cut to NYU, where Kramer is in a meeting with the fictitious Dean Jones:

(Scene: At NYU)
KRAMER: Dean Jones, you wanted to talk to me?
DEAN JONES: I’ve been reviewing Darin’s internship journal. Doing laundry…
KRAMER: …Yeah.
DEAN JONES: …Mending chicken wire, high tea with a Mr. Newman. (Notice, how even in his internship journal, he calls people "Mr." Simply brilliant.)
KRAMER: I know it sounds pretty glamorous, but it’s business as usual at Kramerica. (HILARIOUS!)
DEAN JONES: As far as I can tell your entire enterprise is little more than a solitary man with a messy apartment which may or may not contain a chicken.
KRAMER: And with Darin’s help, we’ll get that chicken. (HILARIOUS!)
DEAN JONES: I’m sorry, but we can’t allow Darin to continue working with you.
KRAMER: Well, I have to say this seems capricious and arbitrary. (As per usual, Kramer with the SAT words)
DEAN JONES: Your fly is open. (Actually she says "JOE fly is open" if you listen closely, or at least that's what we insist she says, when she clearly says "YOUR fly is open".

And then we fall on the floor due to the fact that we know which scene is rapidly approaching. Jerry must choose between doing the voice and seeing Claire, and after going to the boardwalk, like all hard thinking men, such as George and Jerry, which must be from some movie, but I've never seen it. He then imagines having dinner with Claire, and then the same exact setting, by himself, doing the voice, with people laughing about it. It's jusy brilliant Seinfeld, nutty and zany, Season Nine humor or humour, if you're British, at its best. And then, he caps it off, by not simply choosing the girl which he should, but obviously would choose the voice, but can't just not see her again, or call her up, but must stick it to her, by going to her door, getting her all revved up about him taking her over the voice, and then, just to stick it to her, and also to make us laugh, does the voice to her face! HI-LARIOUS!!! That's right, 3 exclamation marks on that one.

Cut to Jerry's place, where George, Elaine, and then eventually Kramer all say that the voice is old and that he should've picked the girl, Jerry does double or nothing with Elaine about her and Puddy, and then:

JERRY: What is this? (Kramer is wearing jeans that look like it doesn’t fit him).
KRAMER: I don’t know. I found them in your closet. Ever since Darin left I haven’t been able to find anything. He took all my clothes to some cleaners. I’m clueless. (looks at clock) Is that clock right?
Jerry: Yeah. Nine o’clock.
Kramer: I was supposed to pick up Newman at the zoo twelve hours ago. (Just hilarious. At 9 PM last night!)

We then get our final audio clip on the The No Name Seinfeld Characters Web Site:

KRAMER: Darin? What are you doing here? The college canceled the internship.
DARIN: I don’t care about the internship. I care about Kramerica.
KRAMER: Kramerica is no more.
DARIN: What about the oil tanker bladder system? We were going to put an end to maritime oil spills.
KRAMER: Probably. (Insert a huge pause here, with Kramer taking a big breath, b/c they would've definitely put an end to maritime oil spills) Darin, you go home. Forget about Kramerica.
(Kramer slams door)
(Kramer opens door)
KRAMER: You’re still here?
DARIN: I haven’t had time to leave.
KRAMER: Well, I haven’t changed my mind. (Hilarious!)
(Kramer slams door)
(Kramer opens door)
KRAMER: Well, you are a tenacious little monkey. Alright, I’ll do it. Kramerica industries lives! Let’s get back to work! And so, they should get back to work, and what is work?)
(Kramer slams door)
(Kramer opens door)
KRAMER: Let’s see what Jerry has to eat.

Stimply hilarious. Cut to Play Now, where Mr. T adds in "and their families", brilliantly, with George saying the pun filled "Well played" and Mr. T's "I'll see you in hell Costanza". Cut to Jerry's where George tells Jerry that they're not doing the voice anymore, so he's willing to take Claire back, into the hall we go, with Kramer acting like some big shot business tycoon/inventor with Darin as his lackey, with some funny lines such as Jerry's "Trouble down at the plant?", George's "You have to drink that whole thing?", Kramer's brilliant "Conceivably", and then cut to Elaine and Puddy repeatedly trying to break up but end up having sex, hilarious, with Jerry smoking his cigar while Elaine counts out the money she owes him, but also one quick correction, where the script says root beer, which it may be, but I think that it's Reuben, as in the sandwich, but who knows, and also, one of my favs, Elaine's "Book it!" and also "Look it", even though she didn't say the latter in the current episode. Also, Jerry's "ha ha"s are hilariously maniacal. And then cut to Play Now, where Jerry mentions his crack about the six hour tape and the audience loves it, but I don't think it's so funny. But then he does say something funny, asking if the guys are liking it again, and even asks Darin!, who retorts, hilariously, "Sorry Mr. Seinfeld", plus George's great line, in classic George craziness: "Oh, you might want to stick around Jerry. Mr. Thomassoulo picked the wrong man to hire because he was fake handicapped." Then we see George's great bathroom, which Jerry calls Zanadu, from the great Orsen Wells film, Citizen Kane, even though it's not my favorite film by him. Then we have Kramer's hilarious: "Whew. You know Darin, if you would have told me twenty-five years ago that some day I’d be standing here about to solve the worlds energy problems, I would’ve said you’re crazy… Now let’s push this giant ball of oil out the window. Then we get the brilliant linking at the end, ketchup and mustard in the same bottle, oh that sounds interesting SIR!, hilarious, George getting screwed by not getting paid anything b/c of Claire's lawsuit, Darin going to jail for a long time, probably taking the fall for Kramer, his idol, slippery as an eel, and Puddy telling Elaine he wants to break up, when she finally gives in to her current situation. In other words, Top 5 episode that should hold its head up high for being so, especially after being viewed trillions of times, and still as fresh and as funny as it was the first time.

Adam - Coming soon

EPISODE GUIDE from Jerry Seinfeld: The Entire Domain by Kathleen Tracy

158."The Voice" (October 2, 1997)

SUMMARY George refuses to leave his job after it's discovered he's not handicapped. Elaine tries to break up with Puddy but can't--even though she keeps losing money to Jerry betting she can. Jerry's girlfriend's stomach makes strange sounds during the night. Kramer hires an intern from NYU to help him develop some of his ideas.

DIRECTOR Andy Ackerman

TELEPLAY Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, and David Mandel

GUEST CAST Gordon Jump (Mr. Thomassoulo); Sara Rose Peterson (Claire); Jarrad Paul (Darin); Ella Joyce (Dean Jones); Nancy Balbirer (Alice); Brian J. Williams (Glenn); Cindy Lu (Worker)

RECURRINC CAST Patrick Warburton (David Puddy)

Stats

2nd Siyum

KRAMER
Buddy = 16 (plus 1 through Darin - 9:2 The Voice)
Pop In = 287 (plus 1 Jerry - 8:8 The Chicken Roaster; plus 1 Darin - 9:2 The Voice, plus 2 Kramer in Florida - 9:15 The Wizard)

Dates/Boyfriends/Girlfriends
JERRY
Claire (1st Time)
Claire (2nd Time)
Girls Jerry Broke Up With
Claire (1st Time) - Wants to do the voice

ELAINE
Puddy (4th Time)
Puddy (5th Time)
Puddy (6th Time)
Puddy (7th Time)
Guys Who Broke Up With Elaine
Puddy (7th Time) - Reason unknown
Guys Elaine Broke Up With
Puddy (4th Time) - Reason unknown
Puddy (5th Time) - Reason unknown

Contact List
Claire - Apt. #8J

Things We Know About Lomez
Had a meeting with Mr. Kramer where Mr. Kramer could not get out of

Crazy Kramer Ideas
Oil tanker bladder system
Ketchup and mustard in the same bottle

David “Burl the Bear” Puddy
“So the gloves were right by the phone, that is pretty funny.”

First Times
David “Burl the Bear” Puddy

3rd Siyum

Full Script