Elaine acts as a beard, not a clue why it is called a beard, but a beard nevertheless. She ends up falling for the gay guy, and converts him temporarily, but in the end, due to her deficient knowledge and expertise with the equipment, even as whorish as she is, she can't beat people who have the equipment 24x7. Jerry lies to a cop gal about watching Melrose Place, while Kramer gives food to a homeless guy, but doesn't get the tupperware back from him, and ends up going into police lineups for $50 a pop. The reason they went to the police station is so that Kramer's police sketch artist friend could sketch a girl that Kramer is setting George up with, now that he has hair. George gets dumped by the gal, who's bald herself. Jerry asks George for help on beating the lie detector test, but Jerry can't do it and snaps, and goes off about the show. The whole gang ends up watching the show together at the end.
Our Commentary
Beautiful OCB opened up this beauty of an ep. Hilarious stuff with George and his toupee, as well as Elaine throwing it out the window. The whole Melrose Place thing with the lie detector is great, as is Elaine trying to get her man to switch teams. We get out first Rusty as well as some great Kramer moments in the police lineup. Beautiful George as Avi and one of my favorite Jerry girlfriends, damn she's hot, bring this commentary to a close. Overall, a solid episode. Adam - Funny episode. Not good enough for the Top 50, but good enough for Top 100.
EPISODE GUIDE from Jerry Seinfeld: The Entire Domain by Kathleen Tracy
102."The Beard" (February 9, 1995)
SUMMARY Elaine tries to convert a gay man to heterosexuality. Kramer sets George up with a bald woman.
Kramer gives a homeless man some Chinese food and begins standing in police lineups for $50 each time. Jerry's
cop girlfriend wants him to take a lie detector test to prove he's lying about not watching Melrose Place.
TRIVIA Writer Carol Leifer came up with the idea of having Kramer participate in police lineups after reading
that David Caruso used to do it when he was a struggling actor. Also, she says the secret Melrose Place viewer on
the set was Larry David.
DIRECTOR Andy Ackerman
TELEPLAY Carol Leifer
GUEST CAST Jerry Diner (Lou); Joan Elizabeth (Denise); Jonathan Gries (Homeless Man); Georgann Johnson
(Mrs. Stevenson); Ken Kerman (Officer #2); Katherine LaNasa (Cathy); Robert Mailhouse (Robert); John F.
O'Donohue (Gus); Mirron E. Willis (Officer #1); Ed Winter (Mr. Stevenson)
