Season Seven

And now to the ep. Everything in this ep is stimply hilarious. From the Rabbi to Rabbi Glickman/Kirschbaum, Volition=Momentum, to K-Man starting the trends. Hilarious stuff with the guy asking his gal while she's crying if she's eating her fries, Kramer and Jerry still talking about Kramer sending Jerry to jail, she cried, you craved, and super continuations, like LD's Season 4 archs, with Kramer's cafe Latte -----> Jackie Chiles, Susan and the marriage, and the stalls. Great stuff with Elaine's super jealousy of George, yet hugs him, and he sticks it to her, Jerry feeding Kramer about 2nd chances, and Elaine's bad ass moment. Beautiful stuff with Jerry's Jackie Mason imitation, classic LD with George not having a good turn (of his neck), Jerry totally ignoring George and saying that he should shoot for March, Kramer drinking Cafe Latte since the 5th grade, link back to Plan 9 From Outer Space in 2:11 The Chinese Restaurant, George with his talking to Jerry, while motioning that he was talking to Jerry to Susan when coming home, missed out on the makeup sex/sodomy, link forward to conjugal visit sex, Well Rabbi, Well, the Usher guessing that it is a Cafe Latte in Kramer's shirt, and Jerry ratting him out, Coffee Boy, and the super Reform Rabbi who wants to set up the shiksa Elaine with his Jewish nephew. Everything is hilarious. Overall, an excellent episode, well deserved of the Top 10, not a clue about how it didn't make the Top 50 last Siyum. Adam - Hilarious episode. I'm ashamed to even say that this wasn't even on my Top 50, let alone my Top 10. For this is one of the greatest episodes in all of Seinfeld lore. Basically that's all I can tell you. Beautiful episode.

SOUP NAZI: Bread -- $2 extra.
GEORGE: $2? But everyone in front of me got free bread.
SOUP NAZI: You want bread?
GEORGE: Yes, please.
SOUP NAZI: $3!
GEORGE: What?
SOUP NAZI: No soup for you! [snaps fingers]
[cashier takes George's soup and gives him back his money]

Then, Jerry living under a Nazi regime, George continuing to bottle up his anger with the schmoopies until he decides to cancel his double date with Jerry and Sheila, which is his ideal moment in life, that Jerry and him double date and Jerry follow through with the pact, and get married as well. This shows how much George is angry with the schmoopies. "Just like that?" "Just like that." Then we get Kramer giving Sheila the come hither look, and another hilarious scene, with Kramer being very serious and inspiring:

KRAMER: Well, a bowl of muligatawny would hit the spot.
ELAINE: Mulligatawny?
KRAMER: Yeah. It's an Indian soup. It's simmered to perfection by one of the great soup artisans in the modern era.
ELAINE: Oh! Who? The Soup Nazi?
KRAMER: He's not a Nazi. He just happens to be a little eccentric. Most geniuses are.

Then we get the Soup Nazi telling George "You're pushing your luck little man." after George acknowledging the bread given to him this time. He must say Sorry and Thank You in response. Elaine, being super annoying and taking her dandy time, gets what she deserves by the Soup Nazi. After Elaine gives her insane look-a-like and then:

SOUP NAZI: Very good. Very good.
ELAINE: Well, I --
SOUP NAZI: You know something?
ELAINE: Hmmm?
SOUP NAZI: No soup for you!
ELAINE: What?
SOUP NAZI: Come back one year! Next!

Then, we have possibly two of the funniest characters in anything ever, the gay Street Toughs. From "es gorgeous" to "eh just pick it up", which is repeated thrice hourly in this house. The entire scene, in George's words, is like Mr. Kruger: Too much, too much. Then we have one of greatest scenes Jerry has ever performed, with his look to the Soup Nazi, and then, to total disbelief, chooses the soup (which Jerry, hilariously, must correct Elaine that it was a bisque) over Sheila, with his "Do I know you?".

We then start something so hilarious that I needed to put in a new paragraph. Starting with Jerry thinking that George is happy about him splitting up with Sheila and ending with Jerry actually splitting up with Sheila, only to find George with his now public displaying Susan and her baby bluey, with a middle in Monk's, with one of the funniest scenes ever.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's take this one step at a time. First we get Jerry telling George that he and Sheila are "kind of on the outs". We then get me falling on the floor, with George saying "Happy? Why should I be happy?" with a follow up "Why should I care?" when he is screaming exuberantly inside with joy. Then, after being confronted by Jerry, George finally lets it all out:

GEORGE: All right. I am happy, and I'll tell ya why -- because the two of you were making me and every one of your friends sick! Right, Elaine?
[Elaine sneaks out of Jerry's apartment] (which is perfect Elaine)
JERRY: Is that so?
GEORGE: Yeah. Yeah. With all that kissing and the shmoopy, shmoopy, shmoopy, shmoopy, shmoopy out in public like that. It's disgusting!
JERRY: Disgusting?
GEORGE: People who do that should be arrested.
JERRY: Well, I guess I have all the more reason to get back with her.

Stimply hilarious. Then George brings up the pact again and we cut to the Soup Nazi, who is listening with an attentive ear to Kramer's story about Elaine's stolen armoire. We get a beautiful Newman saying jambalaya both inside and outside the store, as well as a great "good job" sign from Kramer to Newman about his ordering at the Soup Nazi. As usual, Kramer is friends with these nuts, and unbelievably, the Soup Nazi gives his armoire to Kramer's mystery friend. We then have a guy who's part Spanish thinking that he can say "por favor", to which both the Soup Nazi and Kramer think is utterly repulsive and worthy of not getting soup. Cut to Monk's with Jerry trying to make up with Sheila by opening up with a hilarious Bavarian cream pie joke. They make up and start again with the shmoopies as George and Susan enter Monk's. When asked if they want to join Jerry and Sheila, Susan says yes while George says no. And then the world explodes. My heart rips out of my chest, itself laughing hysterically, not being able to pump the blood to my mouth which is dying of laughter, and as my brain loses its last bits of oxygen, it catches one last glimpse of comedic brilliance of this scene. For me to summarize it would be an injustice. I will simply let you read it with my occasional commentary in parentheses and hear it, if you wish:

GEORGE: Yes. Well -- So, uh, sit on the same side at a booth, huh?

JERRY: Yeah. That's right. You got a problem?

GEORGE: I, uh, just think it's a little unusual. Two people to sit on one side...and leave the other side empty.

JERRY: Well, we're changing the rules.

GEORGE: Ahh. Good for you.

SUSAN: Aw, what are you getting George?

GEORGE: I don't know, honey. What do you want to get? [in babying voice] I want you to get anything you want...'cause I love you so much. I want you to be happy. Okay, sweetie?

SUSAN: Oh, George, you're so sweet.

GEORGE: Well, I could be a little sweetie tweetie weetie weetie.

SUSAN: Aww!

JERRY: What about you, shmoopy? How 'bout a little tuna? You want a little tuna fishy?

SHEILA: Yeah.

JERRY: Yum yum little tuna fishy?

GEORGE: Come here.
[George & Susan begin making out; Jerry & Sheila begin making out in order to keep up]

Luckily I was able to revive myself, b/c there's plenty of more hilariousness left in this ep, not to mention the rest of Seinfeld. We next cut to Kramer at Elaine's apartment, where he surprises her with an armoire. She's taken aback at it and can't believe it. Kramer feeds her a "Did the K-Man do it or did the K-Man do it?" and she, like an inborn reflex replies, "The K-Man did it!" Already extremely suprised and at a loss of words, she demands to know how much Kramer paid for such a beautiful armoire. When he replies, "How 'bout zero?", Elaine can't take it anymore. This is too insane for her to handle. And then he drops the bomb on her when asked where he got it from then:

KRAMER: I'll tell ya where I got it. I got it from the guy you so callously refer to as the Soup Nazi.

At this moment, Elaine, with all of her might, putting together all of the "Get Out"s that she has ever done, compressing them, packing the molecules as close together as possible, until the pressure is so much that it needs to explode, she gives her: ELAINE: Get out!
[Elaine pushes on Kramer's chest, causing him to fall backwards through her swinging door]

It doesn't get much better than that. Kramer finishes the scene by telling Elaine that "He's a dear." We then cut to George and Susan, who are still at Monk's. Finally finished with his battle of the wits against Jerry, George is content to revert to his usual lifestyle, and nothing says George like a movie, or in this case, figuring out how much tip you should leave on $8.15. Susan however, didn't realize that what just happened was all a game between Jerry and George. She, as an adult, understood that to be real, but George, the child, thought it was just a game. Susan tells him how proud she is of him that he expresses his feelings in front of Jerry. George answers these deep and serious statements with "Huh?" And then Susan reminds George of what just happened:
SUSAN: [in babying voice] Because you love your little kiki don't you?
As George just realizes what he's gotten himself into.

Cut to The Soup Nazi, where Bania, who just bought soup, tells a young black kid that the Soup Nazi is in a good mood and the guy is very glad indeed. Elaine is up next and she can't express the words to tell the Soup Nazi how grateful she is for giving her, through Kramer, the armoire. The Soup Nazi, obviously suprised that it was for Elaine:
SOUP NAZI: You? If I knew it was for you, I never would have given it to him in the first place! I would have taken a hatchet and smashed it to pieces! Now, who wants soup? Next! Speak up!"
As the black guy is shaking with fear. Hilarious.

Cut to Jerry and Kramer on the street, where they see the two Street Toughs who mugged Kramer for the armoire. First Kramer tries to get a cop, but Jerry convinces him that there are no cops nearby and that they should confront them. Once again, words can not simply describe this insanely hilarious scene, so read along as you listen, if you'd like:

BOB: Oh, wow look, that one is gorgeous. I would just kill for that one.
RAY: Oh, not in blue. Blue does not go with all.
BOB: Oh, please. Do you know what you're talking about? Because I don't think you know what you're talking about. Take a look at that.
KRAMER: Excuse me.
RAY: Are you talking to me?
KRAMER: Uh, well, uh, we --
RAY: I said, are you talking to me?
BOB: Well, maybe, he was talking to me. Was you talking to him? Because you was obviously talking to one of us. So what is it? Who?! Who was you talking to?!
KRAMER: Well, wha -- I, uh -- uh, we were kind of, uh, talking to each other, weren't we?
[Jerry & Kramer turn around and run away, as I foam at the mouth from laughter]

Cut to Elaine and Jerry at Elaine's place, where they find the Soup Nazi's recipes which were left in the armoire by accident. Elaine comes up with some imaginitive ways of screwing the Soup Nazi by using these and Jerry tries to stop her. Elaine threatens him. We don't know who won the fight, probably Elaine though b/c she gets there first. Although, on the other hand, Jerry may have won and could have gotten there first, but instead takes the time to stick it to George in the following great scene.

First we have a one-two punch of hilariousness:

SUSAN: Look, they have it in blue...for my baby bluey. Are you my baby bluey?

GEORGE: Oh, yes. I - I'm your baby bluey.

Then Jerry comes along, sticks it to George repeatedly and George knowing it and just playing along, taking the grief in turn that he's stuck with the truth that he's stuck with Susan and Jerry can dump and date whoever he wishes:

JERRY: Yeah. Well, she was very affectionate - which I love. You know I love that - but mentally, we couldn't quite make the connection.
GEORGE: Really?
JERRY: Yeah. Too bad, 'cause you gotta have the affection - which you obviously have. I think it's great that you're so open with your affections in public. See, we had that.
SUSAN: Mmm-hmm.
GEORGE: You did?
JERRY: Oh, yeah. But the mental thing. But anyway. I'll see ya.
GEORGE: Yeah. See ya.

Cut to the Soup Nazi, where Ana Gasteyer gets the quick boot from the store right after the commercial. Elaine, who was hiding in the back, comes to the forefront to stick it to the Soup Nazi to tell him it's all over with a repeat of Kramer's favorite soup, mulligatawny. This scene is too famous for words, so I'll just put it in:

SOUP NAZI: Next!
ELAINE: Hello.
SOUP NAZI: You. You think you can get soup? Please. You're wasting everyone's time.
ELAINE: I don't want soup. I can make my own soup. "5 cups chopped Porcine mushrooms, half a cup of olive oil, 3 pounds celery."
SOUP NAZI: That is my recipe for wild mushroom.
ELAINE: Yeah, that's right. I got 'em all. Cold cucumber, corn and crab chowder, mulligatawny.
SOUP NAZI: Mulliga...tawny?
ELAINE: You're through Soup Nazi. Pack it up. No more soup for you. Next!

We end the ep during the credits with Newman telling Jerry something that Jerry should have already known, that the Soup Nazi won't make soup any more b/c of Elaine and her threats of making it known to the world, how to make the soup. I don't think they should be going so crazy to get the soup then, if they can make it themselves, or buy it in any store that should have it, once Elaine publishes the recipes, but this is all nitpicking, which is all I can do as this episode is perfection perceived, perfection achieved, and perfection perfected. None of that actually made any sense, but nevertheless, this episode was one of the funniest episodes that anyone has ever imagined or written. It would have to be considering that it is a Top 5 episode, of the funniest show of all time, Seinfeld. Spike Feresten should've gotten 22 Emmy's for the writing in this episode, one Emmy for every minute of hilarious dialogue that was formed inside his hilarious brain. A brilliant script, brilliant performances, and brilliant direction by Andy Ackerman leads this ep into the stratosphere of hilariousness and perfection. For me to say well done would be an understatement. Perfectly done.

Adam - JUST A WARNING: THIS IS BEING WRITTEN A FEW MONTHS AFTER WATCHING THIS EPISODE, AS WE JUST REALIZED NOW, THAT HE DIDN'T WRITE A COMMENTARY FOR THIS EPISODE. One Kenneth Bania graces us with his presence in this Top 5 episode. Only for a minute or so. This alone shows me that the gang was serious about this ep. To throw Kenneth Bania into the mix, for only a minute, to have him come back to the set, just to be in this episode for a minute, shows me that the gang was serious about this one. Forget everything else in the episode. I'd like to talk about Kenneth Bania. Trying to cut the line, like only Kenneth Bania can. Saying that the Soup Nazi is in a good mood today, as only Kenneth Bania can. And then going to the back of the line, as only Kenneth Bania can. This episode flies into the Top 5 and doesn't look back. That's all.

Overall, solid funny ep. Adam - Hilarious premises all over this episode. From Bosco, to Kramer's got the caboose, I laughed till I cried, but unfortunately I didn't cry enough to warrant this fine episode to go into the annals of Seinfeld fame. Sorry boys can't help you.

Ruthie Cohen speaking for the first time, Kramer eating the hot dog, b/c it's a perfectly sane food to eat, hundred dollars worth of lo meini gum, Elaine as Chesty La Rue, George screaming POP!, Kramer running the Theater, LD as the gum guy, etc. Overall, hilarious episode. Kudos all around. Adam - Hilarious episode. Worthy of Top 50 status. Nothing better than Kramer taking together a billion words and making it one, the IPMPCW and there's nothing better than Lloyd Braun. Overall, excellent episode.

I have a simple math equation for you to solve. What happens when you add Steinbrenner's funniest scene ever, one of Jackie Chiles best performances, Peterman, Frank, Estelle, Wilhelm, Susan, X, and introduce Sue Ellen Mishke and Stan the Caddy? You get a Top 25 episode, maybe even a Top 10 episode, depending on the value of X. X = Current mood I'm in. Anyway, hilarious episode. Hilarious stuff with Kramer's dream of making the senior tour with such a fond memory, Sue Ellen Mishke and her boobs bouncing around all over the place, Wilhelm coming into George's office and George is playing with paper airplanes, Jerry and George ridiculing Elaine about Sue Ellen not wearing a bra, Elaine's high school boyfriend walking out the door with Sue Ellen, and Elaine buying her a bra to stick it to her. Nice link back to the cabin, George taking off work in order to go out of town with Susan for a few days, Sue Ellen sticking it back to Elaine by wearing the bra as a top, and damn does she look good in it, as Peterman, Jerry, and Kramer can attest to. Great stuff with Jerry banging down in order for the phone to pop up and he catches it, in midair mind you, and answers it. Then we get one of Jackie Chiles' funniest scenes ever, with a link back to the top on the coffee cup, "No top? She didn't have a top on?" v. "Who put the top on?" Then in classic Jackie fashion, while he massages his ring on his finger, while Kramer repeats the last word:

JACKIE: So we got an attractive woman, wearing a bra, no top, walkin' around in broad daylight. She's flouting society's conventions!
KRAMER: She was flouting.
JACKIE: That's totally inappropriate. It's lewd, vesivius, salacious, outrageous!
KRAMER: It was outrageous.

And then they continue with some more classic Jackie and Kramer shtick:

KRAMER: And she's the heir to the O'Henry candy bar fortune.
JACKIE: Could you repeat that?
KRAMER: I said she's the heir to the O'Henry candy bar fortune.
JACKIE: O'Henry? That's one of our top-selling candy bars. It's got chocolate, peanuts, nougat, it's delicious, scrumptious, outstanding! Have you been to a doctor?
KRAMER: No.
JACKIE (speaking to the intercom): Susie, call Dr. Bison, set up an appointment for Mr. Kramer, tell him it's for me.
KRAMER: So whadda ya think, Jackie? I mean we got a case?
JACKIE: Like taking candy from a baby.

We then have some classic Steinbrenner with his "How 'bout a 'good morning'?" and "We must find George, find him, Wilhelm!", and then his funniest scene ever:

STEINBRENNER: What is with these people, all day long. Come in, come in.
WILHELM: Ah, Mr. Steinbrenner, you know, we've searched everywhere, there's no sign of him. Not even anyone who remotely fits his description, sir.
STEINBRENNER: Oh my God, do you know what this means, Wilhelm?
WILHELM: What, sir?
STEINBRENNER: He's dead! Costanza's dead!
WILHELM: Well, no, no, you see, I don't think--
STEINBRENNER: As quickly as he came here, he's gone. The poor little guy! Easy. Easy, big Stein, get it together. Ok, Wilhelm.
WILHELM: Yessir?
STEINBRENNER: Find out where his parents live.
WILHELM: Parents.
STEINBRENNER: I'm gonna personally notify them. ...and, ah, line up some candidates to fill that assistant to the General Manager position, we can't grieve forever! We gotta get back to business! Back to Business Wilhelm!

Dang that's funny! Then we get another ultra-hilarious scene with Kramer and Jerry fighting over the case:

KRAMER: Well, buddy, he's taking the case! Jackie Chiles is right on it! Right on it, he's all over it!
JERRY (not happy): Oh, really?
KRAMER: Why, wh-wh-what's wrong, come on?
JERRY: I don't know, so the woman was walking around in a bra, I mean it's no big deal. You're still drivin'. You should have been watching the road.
KRAMER: Well, your attitude has certainly changed.
JERRY: I don't think my attitude has changed.
KRAMER: Now listen, Jerry, I'm gonna need you to testify.
JERRY: Well, I don't know if I....
KRAMER: Jerry, Jerry, you gotta testify!
JERRY: I don't think I--
KRAMER: Listen, this is a million dollars we're talkin' about, Jerry, now this is the big league, the big time, now I need you on my team, Jerry!
JERRY: Well, I'm just not sure how I feel about it, Kramer.
KRAMER: Alright what's gotten into you, what's happened?!?
JERRY: Nothing's happened.
KRAMER (in disgust): Goohhhhck.
(As Kramer begins to leave, he notices an O'Henry wrapper in the garbage can)
KRAMER (picking up the wrapper): Ohhhh, what's this?
JERRY: Oh, no, no, no, wait a second, wait a second,...
KRAMER: I see....Yessss. Little Miss Candy Bar paid a visit, didn't she?
JERRY: Kramer, it is not what you think.
KRAMER: Ah, Ah, Ahhhhh! I know what I think. I think you're gaga over this dame. She's twisted you around her little finger, and now, you're willing to sell me, and Elaine, and whoever else you have to, right down the river.
JERRY: And what about yooou?!? Tryin' to bilk an innocent bystander out of a family fortune, built on sweat and toil, manufacturing quality O'Henry candy bars, for honest, hard-working Americans!
KRAMER: You're just out for sex!
JERRY: You're just out for money!
KRAMER and JERRY (together): Ah, Ah, Ahhhhh!

Sorry about that, someone had to pick me up from the floor because I fell down from laughter. Then we get hilarious Frank with his looking sad about hearing that George is dead from Steinbrenner, but really he is sad/angry about trading away Jay Buhner, and also leaving a message on Jerry's machine that first, Steinbrenner is here, and second, that George is dead. Then we have some great Peterman requesting that Elaine create the Gatsby Swing Top:

PETERMAN: I saw a woman in our hallway wearing one of these as a top. What exquisite beauty, I ran down the hallway to talk to her, but the elevator door closed. It was not to be. Perhaps our paths will cross again some day.
ELAINE: What is this all about?
PETERMAN: I wanna market this item as a new direction in women's fashion. We're gonna sell this as a top. Here's the angle: Zelda Fitzgerald, aaaand, somebody in the 20s, wearing this at wild parties, driving all the men crazy.....Have it on my desk by the end of the week.

Overall, one of the funniest episodes of Seinfeld. Just a brilliant gem. Adam - Steinbrenner + Chiles + Peterman = Top 10 Episode. I laughed until I laughed until I cried some more. It was beautiful. Wonderful job.

his total inappropriateness, and that he is family because he is having sex with the cousin. Newman is great as Shlomo Hamelech. The whole Christy having only one dress and Jerry's attempts to see her wearing something different. Kramer and Newman's obsession with Elaine's girls' bike. Kramer thinking that 50 dollars is a huge amount of money, the mooching inventory, Elaine closing the door on Kramer's little joy ride, Kramer knowing how to fix people's spines by learning it from a guy who sells t-shirts in front of the World Trade Center, round out this hilarious episode. Overall an excellent episode. Adam - Hilarious episode, everything was done well, thank you, I had much fun.

JERRY: Just imagine how much more you'll accomplish.
KRAMER: Oh, I got a lot of things in the hopper, buddy.
Kramer heads for the door.
JERRY: I didn't know you had a hopper.
KRAMER: (smiling) Oh, I got a hopper. A big hopper.

KRAMER: (enthusiastic) Oh, I'm percolating, Jerry. I'm telling you, I have never felt so fertile. I'm mossy, Jerry. My brain is mossy. Listen to this idea. (fetches a spoon from the drawer) A restaurant that serves only peanut butter and jelly. (clicks tongue)
JERRY: What d'you call it?
KRAMER: P B and J's. What d'you think?
JERRY: (deadpan) I think you need more sleep.
KRAMER: (dismissive) Ahh.

Kramer begins to exit.
JERRY: (indicates the bowl of cereal) No milk?
KRAMER: Oh, I'll be back.

Kramer coming into Jerry's bedroom and waking him up at 4 in the morning.

Kramer taking Jerry's jacket, knowing that it's from The Friar's Club and doesn't belong to him.

KRAMER: (laughing to himself) Somehow I dozed off and woke up in a pile of garbage.

Jerry trying to wake Kramer up:
JERRY: (louder) Hey!!
Kramer snaps awake with a jerk.
KRAMER: Watch out, boy.

Kramer and Connie, his gal, in his apt.:
KRAMER: Oh, it's uh, it's a bold adventure.
Connie leans in and begins to kiss Kramer's neck.
KRAMER: Ooh. Well, this is uh, risky business, huh? I'm all a-twitter.

The entire scene at

[The Hudson River]
Kramer breaks the surface with a splutter. He looks round, panicky and confused.
KRAMER: HEY!! Sh..! Shii! MAMA!!
Kramer looks to one side, where he sees a large ferry bearing down on him. He turns and begins swimming away from the vessel.
KRAMER: AAH! AAGH!

After coming back from his dip in the Hudson:

JERRY: What'd she do?
KRAMER: I don't know! (building to a shout) But I woke up in the Hudson River in a SACK!! I think she drugged me, but she's a murderer and I'm calling the cops.

At Connie's apt. with the police:

KRAMER: (pointing) That's her, officer.
CONNIE: (shocked) Kramer! Oh my god, I thought you were...
KRAMER: (animated) What? Sleeping with the fishes? I guess I woke up!

Back to the rest of the ep:
Rob Schneider is hilarious as Bob, with his pointing and his subtle humor. It's just a great job. Then we have George and his Gatsby fixation of him, Jerry, Susan, and Hallie, in that order. He has to tell Hallie that Jerry is funny, loving every second that Jerry is having a good time with her with his sarcastic comment that she just bought her own dinner. Then an oft-quoted imitation of "Hanky... Others", with his "Friars", which will now also be repeated oft times. Jerry then notes about how he likes the crest as does everyone else, which leads us to 7:19 The Wig Master, where in the beginning of the ep he gets a blazer with a crest b/c of this. Then we get hilarious stuff with Bob winking at Elaine b/c he's got to have lunch with Mr. P, Jerry's comment to Elaine that he though he would be taller, Elaine's response later on that she can't handle Jerry's shananigans right now cuz of her work, Jerry feeding George about how he loves Hallie, when he didn't even talk to her, and Peterman's face when he overhears Elaine sexing it up for Bob. Hilarious stuff with "Agrabah!" as the Sandos' magic word, Italian mafia names of Connie, Tony, and Joey, then the Sandos brother not having a clue about the jacket, when they just performed the trick with it, and later clean it, their Nisht answer in the negative, and then closing the door on Jerry's face. Then we get our first shoelace convo between George and Susan b/c they have nothing to say to each other. Then Jerry inexplicably doesn't care that the object the 2 guys are carrying out of Kramer's place is a human body approximately the same size and shape as Kramer. Great Peterman moment with his "That kind of cruelty would be grounds for dismissal." Then we get the whole sour, desour, sweeten bit between Jerry and George, ending in another Gatsby wish by George. Great stuff with Pat Cooper and his dissing of George that he ain't in showbiz, Bob diving into Elaine's breasts (man I'd have given up red meat to be Schneider there), a follow up sour, sweeten, bitter, good connection to make Elaine deaf cuz she's there too at the show with Bob's earpiece, and we finish this bad boy up with a Jackie Chiles. Overall, a solidly hilarious ep, worthy of Top 25 status. Adam - Hilarious episode. Worthy of Top 50, and even Top 25 status. This episode is too good for words. Kramer is on fire in this episode. Never again will Kramer be on so much. What an episode, what an episode.

Yes, it's time for a new paragraph. We have Chaim J, one of the funniest, super Israeli, guys of all time, proprietor of all things Jiffy: Jiffy Park, Jiffy Dump, Jiffy Peanut Butter, etc. After George confronts him about the condom, he gives us:
ATTENDANT: "Hey look ..You walk in to this city you got to expect things are gonna stick to your foot. You open in your car and Bing!! Condom."
When George replies: "That doesn't explain the lipstick on the dashboard?", he tries to bribe them with more shirts, which works on Kramer, especially since the free t-shirts closed the deal on him parking his car here in the first place. After they lose Kramer's keys, they just give Kramer someone else's pink Cadillac, and tells him it's a Mary Kay car (which I later found out what the heck this was), and then he agrees to it.

Cut back to Jerry's place, where he is ranking out Elaine for being a whore, then continues with an unabated diplay of metaphors of how Craig is going to dangle the Nicole Miller dress in front of Elaine, and then cut back to Jiffy Park, where George asks the hooker if he should move his car, wants to pay her for her time by giving her $10, then $15, and asks if she has change for a $20, Susan walks in, linking us back to 7:2 The Postponement with George's moralistic quest of hookers with finacees, and the Bridget Fonda look-a-like hooker takes the money while smiling b/c George got seemingly caught. We then get George trying to first get out of the wedding with his cultivating of the doubt, and then taking it back at the last moment, and then I need a new paragraph.

Why do you ask? What is about to be commented on now? What is so amazing that it warrants a new paragraph? I will tell you if you stop asking damn questions! Now. The reason for the new paragraph is that an awesome moment in the history of mankind occurs next. Man's evolution of revolutionary discoveries and occurrences: Fire, verbal communication, written communication, mass communication, instantaneous worldwide wireless communication, electricity, the automobile, the airplane, the space shuttle, and finally, Norman Brenner having his largest role in Seinfeld as the unforgettable, Emmy, Tony, Academy, Clie, ESPY, Golden Globe, Commie, TV Land, award winning role, of Ian (pronounced Eeen), with his uncanny British accent.

Cut back to Jerry's place, with Kramer telling Jerry that it's time to go to bed, oh, I'll just put the quotes in:
JERRY: "Turn in?"
KRAMER: "Yeah,I had a tough day"
JERRY: "It's only nine o clock."
KRAMER: "Well ..I don't argue with the body Jerry. It's an argument you can't win."
JERRY: "I can't go to sleep at nine o clock!"
KRAMER: "Well you can go to your room and read."
JERRY: "Hey look, you know, you're the one who's locked out. I'm letting you stay here. You're wearing my bathrobe. You should adapt to me."
KRAMER: "But I'm tired.."
JERRY: "Oh why don't you go sleep over at Newman's."
KRAMER: "Aah! He's got a girl up there. This quilt is too thin...I know I'm gonna get cold."
I don't even fit on this couch. Don't even know if I'm gonna sleep...."
JERRY: "Well that's all I got."
KRAMER: "Can I sleep with you?"
JERRY: "Huh?"
KRAMER: "Well you got that big comfortable bed and that nice warm quilt."
JERRY: "Kramer, there's no way you're sleeping with me."
KRAMER: "Why?"
JERRY: "Why?"
KRAMER: "Yeah!"
JERRY: "Do I really have to explain why?"
(Elaine shows up, gives Kramer the Squire's walking stick for later on in the ep. Jerry continues with his anti-Craig war and Kramer steps in to give us some more hilarious lines)

JERRY: "Don't you see?...........It's all a big scam.”
ELAINE: "You're nuts!”
KRAMER: "How do you know he's not wondering the same thing about you?”
Elaine : "What d'you mean?”
KRAMER: "What do I mean?.. Well perhaps he thinks that you're working him for the discount. Shaking that little butt of yours into big, big savings.... And then when you get it,you know, you drop him like a hot potato.
ELAINE: "Aawwh Please.....”
KRAMER: "Now see the two of you need to work on trust... and then and only then will there be a free exchange of sex and discounts.. Cornerstones of a healthy relationship....and now if you would (taps twice on the door) excuse us. We need to get to bed.”
(Jerry gives a great expression and I fall apart at the whole scene)
Scene cuts to Jerry's bed. Lights are out. Kramer opens the light and starts to read.
KRAMER: (softly)"hmmm....patio furniture's on sale.”
(Jerry giving more great expressions as well as Kramer, just perfect)

(Now we get some more hilarious stuff between George and Chaim J.)
Cuts to the Jiffy Park the next morning.
GEORGE: "Excuse me...huh... I think I made a big mistake. I'd like my deposit back please.”
ATTENDANT: "Whats the problem”
GEORGE: "You got hookers turning tricks in my car. How's that for starters.”
ATTENDANT: "Haaan! That is all hearsay.”
GEORGE: "Alright, very good I'd like my car and my deposit back please”
ATTENDANT: "Can't do it'”
GEORGE: "Whaddaya mean.?”
ATTENDANT: "If you read the agreement you signed the deposit is not refundable.”
GEORGE: "Well does it say anywhere in the contract about my car being used as a whorehouse? 'Cause I don't remember reading that clause either..”
(Insert George as Avi)
ATTENDANT: "What can I tell you buddy. Take it up with Consumer Affairs.”
GEORGE: "All right, just give me my car and let me get the hell out of here.”
ATTENDANT: "Well that's going to be a problem”
GEORGE: "Why?”
(Insert another George as Avi)
ATTENDANT: "It's all the way in the back. Can't get it out for a couple of days.”
GEORGE: "What are you talking about.. I WANT MY CAR!!”
ATTENDANT: "We ask that you please bear with us.”
(Who is this guy? "We"? He thinks he's The Tech Support Guru.)
GEORGE: "Bear with you! This is a parking lot PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO GET THEIR CARS!!!”
ATTENDANT: "Ideally..”
(Beautifully executed all around)

Next we get Jerry returning the blazer for spite, but can't, b/c he said spite first, and when the saleswoman asks Bob, the manager, we hear, whisper, whisper, spite, whisper. Cut to Kramer sitting with Ethan, the Wig Master, and Charmaine, the Costume Designer. Kramer is living it up with them, sitting in some cafe, with his hip movie star/broadway/celebrity sunglasses on, making fun of people walking by who are so obviously lower than them. Elaine and Jerry show up, they all meet and greet, Kramer gives us "What are we, dogmeat?" when Elaine says that she has to meet a friend. Then Charmaine remembers she has to get the dreamcoat from the dry cleaner, and:
KRAMER: "Hey! You gonna let me try the other one right?"
CHARMAINE: "Yeah. But you gonna have to be really careful with it, it's my only backup."
KRAMER: "Hey! Who do you think you're talking to."
(Hilarious. He so obviously is gonna mess it up.)

So, only Jerry and Ethan are sitting there, drinking Champagne Coolies. Ethan says, "There's your Champagne Coolie. Well looks like it's just you and me cowboy!." Cut to Elaine and Craig at Elaine's place, and he tells her that the Nicole Millers are coming by boat, which hilariously, takes longer b/c of the waves. And then Mr. Hilarious steps in, taking a break from Mad TV

Back to the terrace with Jerry and Ethan
ETHAN: "How can she go with a guy like that, he's a mess... I just don't see them together at all”
A man approaches.
JESSIE: "Ethan?”
ETHAN: "Yes..”
JESSIE: "Hi it's me Jessie....George Hamilton's personal assistant.”
ETHAN: "Right, Right.”
Both greet each other
ETHAN: "How you doin'?”
JESSIE: "nice to see you..”
ETHAN: "This is Jerry.”
JERRY: "Hello..”
JESSIE: "Yeah, hummm ( turns back to Ethan) Ethan, what brings you in to town.”
ETHAN: "I'm touring with Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat”
JESSIE: "You're kidding... Listen maybe you and I should...ehmmm get together . Have you been on the slide at Club USA it's ...intense.”
JERRY: (Interrupts) “Excuse me...Excuse me... Are you asking him out?”
JESSIE: "Yeah...I guess you could say that..”
JERRY: "Right in front of me!. How do you know we're not together. Two guys, sittin' laughin' drinking Champagne Coolies.”
JESSIE: "I dunno I just didn't think you were.”
JERRY: "Well we're sitting here together. Why wouldn't you think that.”
JESSIE: "I dont know. I just didn't.”
JERRY: "Well it's very emasculating..”
Jessie looks befuddled and leaves.
(I collapse every time from this scene.)

Cut to Elaine's place of pain, where she cuts off Craig's ponytail in order to make some dough for screwing her over by lying about the Nicole Millers. And then the hilarious scene of Kramer walking down the street, prototypical pimp, with the walking stick, white hat that flies down the street, and dreamcoat, walking to his pink pimped out caddy. Great stuff with the hooker fighting with him and
POLICE: "OK Big Daddy. Take the hat off...... awright turn to your right...(Kramer hesitates) I SAID TURN PIMP."
(Which Adam thinks is LD, but I think he's nuts.)
KRAMER: (cries) I'M NOT A PIMP.!!!.

And the episode is over. Just a solidly written, acted ep, well deserved to be in the Top 10, which is probably #19 I'd guess.
Adam - One of the best episodes ever. You have the Nicole Millers, Kramer in his element, George as Avi like 5 times, the Jiffy Park guy, who says "that's just hearsay", the wig master, who is hilarious in itself, very emasculating, and the reason why this thing goes into the top 10, a Norman Brenner speaking part. Enough said my loves, enough said.

And the episode ends. Now, we have the original ep, when it was on NBC, so we have both parts 1 and 2 as a single episode, so I only know that it ends here from the script. Anyway, overall, a great ep, but doesn't make the Top 50. They could easily have put this 2 parter into one episode. Adam - Good episode. Not great, but not bad. It is a deletion from the 2nd Siyum. It just didn't make the cut.

This season was one of the greats. This season was better than Season 6, at least in terms of Top 50 eps, as well as better than Seasons 1,2,3, and 4. 13 episodes made the Top 50 during the 2nd Siyum, then in the 3rd Siyum, we had one 3rd Siyum Addition for 7:2 The Postponement, and one 3rd Siyum Deletion for 7:23 The Wait Out, as well as quite hilariously, a 3rd Siyum Deletion of 7:21 and 7:22 The Bottle Deposit 2 parter, and a 3rd Siyum Addition of 7:14 and 7:15 The Cadillac 2 parter, so in the end, nothing was changed, thereby making the number static at 10 out of 24 episodes, compared to 0 out of 5 episodes in Season 1, 1 out of 12 in Season 2, 8 out of 23 episodes in Season 3, 8 out of 24 episodes in Season 4, 14 out of 22 episodes in Season 5, and 9 out of 24 episodes in Season 6 made the Top 50. This is a testament to its greatness. LD, JS, JA, JLD, MR, WK, PB, KP, SM, BB, PC, and HS all did excellent jobs writing and acting, while AA did a great job directing, in these hilarious episodes of Seinfeld. Props all around to all who injected a bit of joy and comedy into the bloodstream of Season 7. We must also give our farewell salute to LD, as he no longer wrote nor really contributed to Seinfeld, except for the continuing voice of Steinbrenner. We will be with him again in CYE. (I can't wait for the 4th Season) That said, let us enter Season 8 together in joy and harmony, b/c although Season 7 did have 10 out of 24 episodes making the Top 50, Season 8 has 19 out of 22, that's only 3 episodes in the season that did not make the Top 50, for those who can't count. So, not only is it better than Season 7, which was already phenomenal with tons of Top 50s, Top 25s, Top 10s, and a Top 5, and which was already one of the most hilarious seasons, but it is also the funniest of the seasons in terms of the Top 50, crushing every other season in its path. In any event, see you there friend of friends.

Adam - Season 7 was absolutely beautiful. The amount of episodes on the Top 50 is extraordinary. When your worst episode is 7:22 The Bottle Deposit Part 2, you know that's an accomplishment. For in that episode alone, you had the words of Newman saying "I'm a strong cider type of guy". This is a testament to the Seventh Season's greatness. There were some suprises, such as 7:2 The Postponement becoming a Top 10 episode and some disappointments: 7:21 The Bottle Deposit Part 1 and 7:22 The Bottle Deposit Part 2, but overall this season was one of the greatest. Kramer was on top of his game this season, but the best of Kramer is yet to come and that goes for the rest of the clan, for Season Eight is the greatest season ever of any show. Now let's join hands and welcome in the best season of all time. 13 out of 24, compared to 0 out of 5 episodes in Season 1, 0 out of 12 in Season 2, 6 out of 23 in Season3, and 5 out of 24 in Season 4, and 12 out of 22 in Season 5, 8 out of 24 episodes in Season 6 made the Top 50.