Our Summary

Our Commentary

Yes, it's time for a new paragraph. We have Chaim J, one of the funniest, super Israeli, guys of all time, proprietor of all things Jiffy: Jiffy Park, Jiffy Dump, Jiffy Peanut Butter, etc. After George confronts him about the condom, he gives us:
ATTENDANT: "Hey look ..You walk in to this city you got to expect things are gonna stick to your foot. You open in your car and Bing!! Condom."
When George replies: "That doesn't explain the lipstick on the dashboard?", he tries to bribe them with more shirts, which works on Kramer, especially since the free t-shirts closed the deal on him parking his car here in the first place. After they lose Kramer's keys, they just give Kramer someone else's pink Cadillac, and tells him it's a Mary Kay car (which I later found out what the heck this was), and then he agrees to it.

Cut back to Jerry's place, where he is ranking out Elaine for being a whore, then continues with an unabated diplay of metaphors of how Craig is going to dangle the Nicole Miller dress in front of Elaine, and then cut back to Jiffy Park, where George asks the hooker if he should move his car, wants to pay her for her time by giving her $10, then $15, and asks if she has change for a $20, Susan walks in, linking us back to 7:2 The Postponement with George's moralistic quest of hookers with finacees, and the Bridget Fonda look-a-like hooker takes the money while smiling b/c George got seemingly caught. We then get George trying to first get out of the wedding with his cultivating of the doubt, and then taking it back at the last moment, and then I need a new paragraph.

Why do you ask? What is about to be commented on now? What is so amazing that it warrants a new paragraph? I will tell you if you stop asking damn questions! Now. The reason for the new paragraph is that an awesome moment in the history of mankind occurs next. Man's evolution of revolutionary discoveries and occurrences: Fire, verbal communication, written communication, mass communication, instantaneous worldwide wireless communication, electricity, the automobile, the airplane, the space shuttle, and finally, Norman Brenner having his largest role in Seinfeld as the unforgettable, Emmy, Tony, Academy, Clie, ESPY, Golden Globe, Commie, TV Land, award winning role, of Ian (pronounced Eeen), with his uncanny British accent.

Cut back to Jerry's place, with Kramer telling Jerry that it's time to go to bed, oh, I'll just put the quotes in:
JERRY: "Turn in?"
KRAMER: "Yeah,I had a tough day"
JERRY: "It's only nine o clock."
KRAMER: "Well ..I don't argue with the body Jerry. It's an argument you can't win."
JERRY: "I can't go to sleep at nine o clock!"
KRAMER: "Well you can go to your room and read."
JERRY: "Hey look, you know, you're the one who's locked out. I'm letting you stay here. You're wearing my bathrobe. You should adapt to me."
KRAMER: "But I'm tired.."
JERRY: "Oh why don't you go sleep over at Newman's."
KRAMER: "Aah! He's got a girl up there. This quilt is too thin...I know I'm gonna get cold."
I don't even fit on this couch. Don't even know if I'm gonna sleep...."
JERRY: "Well that's all I got."
KRAMER: "Can I sleep with you?"
JERRY: "Huh?"
KRAMER: "Well you got that big comfortable bed and that nice warm quilt."
JERRY: "Kramer, there's no way you're sleeping with me."
KRAMER: "Why?"
JERRY: "Why?"
KRAMER: "Yeah!"
JERRY: "Do I really have to explain why?"
(Elaine shows up, gives Kramer the Squire's walking stick for later on in the ep. Jerry continues with his anti-Craig war and Kramer steps in to give us some more hilarious lines)

JERRY: "Don't you see?...........It's all a big scam.”
ELAINE: "You're nuts!”
KRAMER: "How do you know he's not wondering the same thing about you?”
Elaine : "What d'you mean?”
KRAMER: "What do I mean?.. Well perhaps he thinks that you're working him for the discount. Shaking that little butt of yours into big, big savings.... And then when you get it,you know, you drop him like a hot potato.
ELAINE: "Aawwh Please.....”
KRAMER: "Now see the two of you need to work on trust... and then and only then will there be a free exchange of sex and discounts.. Cornerstones of a healthy relationship....and now if you would (taps twice on the door) excuse us. We need to get to bed.”
(Jerry gives a great expression and I fall apart at the whole scene)
Scene cuts to Jerry's bed. Lights are out. Kramer opens the light and starts to read.
KRAMER: (softly)"hmmm....patio furniture's on sale.”
(Jerry giving more great expressions as well as Kramer, just perfect)

(Now we get some more hilarious stuff between George and Chaim J.)
Cuts to the Jiffy Park the next morning.
GEORGE: "Excuse me...huh... I think I made a big mistake. I'd like my deposit back please.”
ATTENDANT: "Whats the problem”
GEORGE: "You got hookers turning tricks in my car. How's that for starters.”
ATTENDANT: "Haaan! That is all hearsay.”
GEORGE: "Alright, very good I'd like my car and my deposit back please”
ATTENDANT: "Can't do it'”
GEORGE: "Whaddaya mean.?”
ATTENDANT: "If you read the agreement you signed the deposit is not refundable.”
GEORGE: "Well does it say anywhere in the contract about my car being used as a whorehouse? 'Cause I don't remember reading that clause either..”
(Insert George as Avi)
ATTENDANT: "What can I tell you buddy. Take it up with Consumer Affairs.”
GEORGE: "All right, just give me my car and let me get the hell out of here.”
ATTENDANT: "Well that's going to be a problem”
GEORGE: "Why?”
(Insert another George as Avi)
ATTENDANT: "It's all the way in the back. Can't get it out for a couple of days.”
GEORGE: "What are you talking about.. I WANT MY CAR!!”
ATTENDANT: "We ask that you please bear with us.”
(Who is this guy? "We"? He thinks he's The Tech Support Guru.)
GEORGE: "Bear with you! This is a parking lot PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO GET THEIR CARS!!!”
ATTENDANT: "Ideally..”
(Beautifully executed all around)

Next we get Jerry returning the blazer for spite, but can't, b/c he said spite first, and when the saleswoman asks Bob, the manager, we hear, whisper, whisper, spite, whisper. Cut to Kramer sitting with Ethan, the Wig Master, and Charmaine, the Costume Designer. Kramer is living it up with them, sitting in some cafe, with his hip movie star/broadway/celebrity sunglasses on, making fun of people walking by who are so obviously lower than them. Elaine and Jerry show up, they all meet and greet, Kramer gives us "What are we, dogmeat?" when Elaine says that she has to meet a friend. Then Charmaine remembers she has to get the dreamcoat from the dry cleaner, and:
KRAMER: "Hey! You gonna let me try the other one right?"
CHARMAINE: "Yeah. But you gonna have to be really careful with it, it's my only backup."
KRAMER: "Hey! Who do you think you're talking to."
(Hilarious. He so obviously is gonna mess it up.)

So, only Jerry and Ethan are sitting there, drinking Champagne Coolies. Ethan says, "There's your Champagne Coolie. Well looks like it's just you and me cowboy!." Cut to Elaine and Craig at Elaine's place, and he tells her that the Nicole Millers are coming by boat, which hilariously, takes longer b/c of the waves. And then Mr. Hilarious steps in, taking a break from Mad TV

Back to the terrace with Jerry and Ethan
ETHAN: "How can she go with a guy like that, he's a mess... I just don't see them together at all”
A man approaches.
JESSIE: "Ethan?”
ETHAN: "Yes..”
JESSIE: "Hi it's me Jessie....George Hamilton's personal assistant.”
ETHAN: "Right, Right.”
Both greet each other
ETHAN: "How you doin'?”
JESSIE: "nice to see you..”
ETHAN: "This is Jerry.”
JERRY: "Hello..”
JESSIE: "Yeah, hummm ( turns back to Ethan) Ethan, what brings you in to town.”
ETHAN: "I'm touring with Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat”
JESSIE: "You're kidding... Listen maybe you and I should...ehmmm get together . Have you been on the slide at Club USA it's ...intense.”
JERRY: (Interrupts) “Excuse me...Excuse me... Are you asking him out?”
JESSIE: "Yeah...I guess you could say that..”
JERRY: "Right in front of me!. How do you know we're not together. Two guys, sittin' laughin' drinking Champagne Coolies.”
JESSIE: "I dunno I just didn't think you were.”
JERRY: "Well we're sitting here together. Why wouldn't you think that.”
JESSIE: "I dont know. I just didn't.”
JERRY: "Well it's very emasculating..”
Jessie looks befuddled and leaves.
(I collapse every time from this scene.)

Cut to Elaine's place of pain, where she cuts off Craig's ponytail in order to make some dough for screwing her over by lying about the Nicole Millers. And then the hilarious scene of Kramer walking down the street, prototypical pimp, with the walking stick, white hat that flies down the street, and dreamcoat, walking to his pink pimped out caddy. Great stuff with the hooker fighting with him and
POLICE: "OK Big Daddy. Take the hat off...... awright turn to your right...(Kramer hesitates) I SAID TURN PIMP."
(Which Adam thinks is LD, but I think he's nuts.)
KRAMER: (cries) I'M NOT A PIMP.!!!.

And the episode is over. Just a solidly written, acted ep, well deserved to be in the Top 10, which is probably #19 I'd guess.
Adam - One of the best episodes ever. You have the Nicole Millers, Kramer in his element, George as Avi like 5 times, the Jiffy Park guy, who says "that's just hearsay", the wig master, who is hilarious in itself, very emasculating, and the reason why this thing goes into the top 10, a Norman Brenner speaking part. Enough said my loves, enough said.

EPISODE GUIDE from Jerry Seinfeld: The Entire Domain by Kathleen Tracy

Stats

2nd Siyum

Norman Brenner
Ian

Celebrities (*Real)
George Hamilton

Peterman Catalog Clothes
Squires Walking Stick

Stuff that Happened to Bob Sacamano
Stayed with Kramer for a year and a half

George as Avi
Arguing with Chaim J.

First Times
Chaim Jeraffi

3rd Siyum

Curb Your Enthusiasm Actors
Patrick Bristow as Ethan is the dance choreographer in Season Four of CYE

Full Script