Our Summary

Our Commentary

I begin this commentary on 11/14/04, in our bathroom in Maalot Dafna. I watched this episode probably 6-8 months ago. However, having seen this particular episode well over a hundred times, and with the script by my side (even though it's not perfect), and having rewatched it a few weeks ago with my beautiful wife, I should be able to manage a decent commentary, perhaps just as decent as the one I would have written right after the episode those many months ago.
With that said, on to the commentary:

We start this hilarious episode off at our good friend, Tim Whatley's apartment, who we haven't seen since his hilarious antics in 8:19 The Yada Yada, where he converted to Judaism, and as Elaine's words perfectly describe our agonizing painful question of "So.. Whatley's still Jewish, huh?", with Jerry's comical retort: "Oh, sure. With out the parents, it's a breeze." Tim tries to kiss Elaine under some mistletoe b/c he was once Catholic, to which Elaine denies him access, thanks George for the Yankees tickets, to which George replies: "Oh, yeah. Still in good with the ground crew." All of these lines refer to previous episodes, just little tidbits to wet or whet, I'm not sure, our appetite. Let's analyze: I would've thought "wet", like your mouth gets wet when your hungry, meaning, you start salivating, but no, that can't be. Even though I'm not sure what "whet" means, it must be "whet". Sorry for that, I've got gemara on the brain.

Anyway, we get our line from Whatley's character page, of "Happy Chanukah, Tiffany!" We then get some nice Jewish references with Elaine's "This place is like Studio 54 with a menorah." and George's "I'm gonna get some more of these kosher cocktail franks.." Next we meet Denim Vest, who hilariously is named in the credits, Denim Vest, played by Kevin MacDonald, from Boys in the Hall, to whom Elaine is planning on giving her standard fake phone number to, when Jerry, like his usual bastage self, walks away from Elaine, who's trying to hold him there, in order to talk to a gal, and Elaine's great line of "No, please! Denim vest! He's smoothing it! Jerry!" Then we get Jerry, the boldest man to ever walk the earth, just walk up to this gal and say:

JERRY: Hi, I'm Jerry.
WOMAN: Hi.
JERRY: You might not know it to look at me, but I can run really, really fast.

Hilarious. Cut back to Elaine and Denim Vest, who replies immediately to Elaine's compliment of "Nice vest. I like the.. big metal buttons", in typical Seinfeld fashion, without even thinking, "They're snaps." And we're done setting up the episode, so let's move out of Whatley's apartment into Monk's.

Jerry tells us he got the gal and George tells us he ate all of the cocktail franks and called in sick for the second day in a row b/c he works at Kruger's House of Love. Then great George with opening his mail, at least he's bringing something to this, and totally missing the Xmas spirit b/c Whatley gave a donation in his name for the above mentioned tickets. Elaine tells us a bit more about the episode in that she is going to "Atomic Sub" b/c with her card, after 24 subs, she gets a free one and becomes a "submarine captain". Then, another key part of the episode in unraveled by George getting a Festivus card from his father.

Cut to Jerry's place where Elaine tells us that she gave her card mistakenly to Denim Vest when she wrote the fake number on it, and Jerry and Kramer say, hilariously:
JERRY: You don't need the card. High-end hoagie outfit like that, it's all computerized! (Snaps) They're cloning sheep now.
KRAMER: (Correcting) No, they're not cloning sheep. It's the same sheep! I saw Harry Blackstone do that trick with two goats and a handkerchief on the old Dean Martin show!

Hilarious. I can't tell you how many times that line has been uttered amongst those residing in the Nassau County area. Jerry then suggests to call the standard fake number and while Elaine attempts to dial, Kramer receives a call from H&H Bagels, his old job, where he'd been striking against for 12 years, completing all of the information needed to know what's flying in this episode, not to mention the title of the ep. Then hilarious with:
ELAINE: What were your.. demands? (Totally mocking Kramer)
KRAMER: Yeah, $5.35 an hour. And that's what they're paying now. (Super proud of his accomplishment)
ELAINE: I believe that's the new minimum wage.
KRAMER: Now you know who to thank for that!.. (HILARIOUS!!!) Alright, I've got to go. (Heads for the door)
JERRY: Why didn't you ever mention this?
KRAMER: Jerry, I didn't want you to know I was out of work. It's embarrassing!

Hilarious. Then cut to H&H, for another great scene:

KRAMER: All right, everybody! I'm back! (Even in Kramer's warped mind where everyone stayed on strike for those 12 years instead of going to work somewhere else, he still announces his arrival to all of the customers as well. Hilarious.)
MANAGER: Who are you?
KRAMER: Cosmo Kramer.. (For some reason, stretching out his neck/face in order for the guy to know who he is, since his face and neck have smushed together over these past score minus 2 years) Strike's over.
MANAGER: Oh yeah! Kramer. (Also, if Kramer expects this guy to know him from 12 years ago, and the guy doesn't know who that the strike is over, he should realize that, as his character is called, he is MANAGEMENT!!!)
KRAMER: Huh.. wha- Didn't any of the guys come back?
MANAGER: NO, I'm sure they all got jobs.. like, ten years ago.
KRAMER: Oh, man. Makes you wonder what it was all for.. (Hilarious. Talking to management and just hilarious in general for his stupidity)
MANAGER: I could use someone for the holidays..
KRAMER: Alright! Toss me an apron, let's bagel! (HILARIOUS!!! Let's bagel?!?!? HILARIOUS!) (Takes off his coat, puts it in the display case, (HILARIOUS!) then turns to see a plate full of bagels.) What are those?
MANAGER: Those are raisin bagels.
KRAMER: (Picks one up, he's mesmerized) I never thought I'd live to see that..

Now, you have to be brain dead in order to not laugh at that one. Kramer has never seen a raisin bagel. Only as Steinbrenner could say in regard to George's ESP: "UNBELIEVABLE!" ANYWAY, back to the ep at hand. Elaine's standard fake, as it turns out, is an OTB where the sleaziest guys ever hang out. Let's take a listen, shall we:

BOOKIE: So. You're Elaine Benes. We've been getting calls for you for 5 years.
ELAINE: So, listen, when this guy calls, if you could just give him my real number..
BOOKIE: (Interrupting) Hey, Charlie! Guess who's here. Elaine Benes.
(Co-Worker in the back speaks up) CHARLIE: Elaine Benes?! (Let it be noted that "Charlie" is the sleaziest guy of all time. He exudes sleaziness. He is the personification of sleaziness. To use the cliche, if one looked up sleaze in the dictionary, Charlie's face would be there, tongue sticking out, like at the Festivus dinner at the end of the ep)
(Various other men in the line behind Elaine say the same thing) BOOKIE: You make a lot of man friends. You know who's a man? Charlie here, he's a man. You know who else? Me. I'm a man. (Super sleaze)
CHARLIE: (faintly) I'm a man. (Or as we say it, "I'm a mah". HILARIOUS! Charlie is just hilarious in his ultra sleaziness.)
ELAINE: Ohh.. my.. (Totally taken aback at these retched sleazeballs, but trying to attempt a feign admiration.)
BOOKIE: I'll have this vest guy call your real number. You just, uh, give it to me. And that way, I'll have it. (Slides a pad over to Elaine so she can write it down) (Giving the sleaze nod)
ELAINE: My number? Ohh.. (looks at Kramer's business card) Okay.. Uh, well, there you go. (writes H&H's number down) (Brilliant by Elaine) And, uh, tell you what.. (looks at the board in the back) put a sawbuck on Captain Nemo in the third at Belmont.

Cut to Jerry, Whatley, Tiffany, and Gwen, who becomes a 2-face for the first time, but first another Jewish reference by Mr. T with his "Mazel Tov" and a nice sympathy head bob to boot about Gwen to Jerry. Cut to Jerry's place where George explains this phenomenon, with a nice Jerry line, "Like the Batman villain" and George's retort of "If that helps you" while being super annoyed at Jerry's childish antics. We follow that up with a double Clint Eastwood reference and a great job with "The Human Fund. Money for People." Kramer enters with a bag of bagels and Jerry and George almost stop eating b/c Kramer made the bagels, which makes sense, but then refuses to eat them, as well as the homeless b/c they're day olds, which makes no sense at all, as I've had day old bagels about ten million times. But a great line by Kramer with "Oh, we try to fool them by putting a few fresh ones on top, but they dig.. they, they test." Jerry wishes George a Happy Festivus so Kramer's interest in it gets piqued, and then Elaine tells Kramer about the phone relay.

Cut to H&H where Frank tells Kramer about the origins and details of Festivus, which I'll just include for your enjoyment:

FRANK: Kramer, I got your message. I haven't celebrated Festivus in years! What is your interest?
KRAMER: Well, just tell me everything, huh?
FRANK: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. (Hilarious. A doll for my son. As Elaine said previously in the episode, "and another piece of the puzzle falls into place.") I reach for the last one they had - but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, (Hilarious) I realized there had to be another way!
KRAMER: What happened to the doll?
FRANK: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. "A Festivus for the rest of us!"
KRAMER: That musta been some kind of doll.
FRANK: She was.

Hilarious. Cut to K Space Uger's House of Love, where George is giving his fake Xmas cards out to his coworkers, and we have a nice "Owe!" by Phil, and a nice "Not if you could see our books.." reply by Kruger to George's "Merry Christmas".

And then cut back to Frank explaining the details of Festivus:

FRANK: And at the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around, and you tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year. (Hilarious)
KRAMER: Is there a tree?
FRANK: No. Instead, there's a pole. It requires not decoration. I find tinsel distracting. (Hilarious)
KRAMER: Frank, this new holiday of yours is scratching me right where I itch. (Hilarious. Classic Kramer.)
FRANK: Let's do it then! Festivus is back! I'll get the pole out of the crawl space. (Turns to leave, meets up with Elaine)
ELAINE: Hello, Frank.
FRANK: Hello, woman. (leaves) (Still upset at being beaten up by Elaine at the end of 8:4 The Little Kicks)

Hilarious. Then Kramer tells the manager that he needs the 23rd off, to which he is rebuffed with extreme prejudice to grab a line from the recently mentioned episode, and then a nice line by Kramer: "You know you're infringing on my right to celebrate new holidays..", for which he goes back on strike, and then in classic Kramer fashion, totalling not caring that Elaine is one of his friends:

ELAINE: No, I got to stay here and wait for the call.
KRAMER: What? You're siding with management?!
ELAINE: No, I just..
KRAMER: (Interrupting) Scab! Scab! (pointing at Elaine) Scab!

Hilarious. Two nice little lines by Jerry in the cab with Gwen The Two Face, an then cut to Monk's, where Jerry says he's only gonna bring her there and only to the back booth b/c that's where she always looked good and a nice "I do really like this coffee shop" and then:

JERRY: That's not a french cuff shirt, you know.
GEORGE: I know. I cut the button off and poked a hole with a letter opener.
JERRY: Oh, that's classy. (Nice)

And then a great scene:

(Frank and Kramer enter. Frank is dragging an aluminum pole)
KRAMER: Well, Happy Festivus.
GEORGE: What is that? Is that the pole?!
FRANK: George, Festivus is your heritage - it's part of who you are. (I love how he says "who you are", in such a soft spoken voice that it's like he's telling him about his lost heritage, like someone who grew up a Christian, when in fact he's Jewish, or someone off the derech, trying to get back on. Just hilarious.)
GEORGE: (Sulking) That's why I hate it.
KRAMER: There's a big dinner Tuesday night at Frank's house - everyone's invited.
FRANK: George, you're forgetting how much Festivus has meant to us all. I brought one of the casette tapes.
(Franks pushes play, George as a child celebrating Festivus is heard)
FRANK: Read that poem.
GEORGE: (Complaining) I can't read it. I need my glasses!
FRANK: You don't need glasses, you're just weak! You're weak! (Oh man, Frank basically was the worst father ever)
ESTELLE: Leave him alone!
FRANK: Alright, George. It's time for the feats of strength.
(George has a break down)
GEORGE: No! No! Turn it off! No feats of strength! (Gets up and starts running out of the coffee shop) I hate Festivus!
FRANK: We had some good times.

Hilarious. Then, ugly Gwen walks in, to which Kramer, which the guy/gal who wrote this script did an excellent job of conveying:
KRAMER: (Shocked at her ugliness, he stammers) Hello.
We then cut to Kramer protesting, saying "Protect Festivus! Hey, no bagels, no bagels, no bagels,", hilariously, and then Kramer sabotaging the bagel machine, and then a nice little:
KRAMER: You've been warned.
(Elaine looks out the window, and sees Kramer at the pay phone)
ELAINE: Oh, hi! (Waves at him)
Which I really like, and then "just a little steam" with Kramer's "Hey! How do you like your bagels now?!" and Elaine's shrugged shoulders, showing it did basically nothing.

Cut to George getting $20k from Kruger "Made out to the Human Fund.", saying it in super Krugeresque fashion and then another classic Kruger move with "(Tries to enter his office, but it's locked) Oh, damn. I've locked myself out of my office again. Oh well. I'm going home.", with George having a great look on his face about the whole situation.

Gwen tells us she hates Monk's and Jerry says "It's our place" to which she answers that she found a rubberband in her soup and then leaves when George comes in, and then George eats her soup and finds the rubberband and says in a great way, b/c it is their place, they basically own it, having come so often over the past 9 years: It's their second home, with George's "Ohh.. Paco!" (Flicks rubber band tward the kitchen), with Jerry laughing it up." Then George tells Jerry about the $20 G's, with a nice:

GEORGE: I've been doing a lot of thinking. This might be my chance to start giving something back.
JERRY: You want to give something back? Start with the 20 thousand dollars. (Nice)
GEORGE: I'm serious.
JERRY: You're going to start your own charity?
GEORGE: I think I could be a philanthropist. A kick ass philanthropist! I would have all this money, and people would love me. Then they would come to me.. and beg! And if I felt like it, I would help them out. And then they would owe me big time! (Thinking to himself) .. First thing I'm gonna need is a driver.. (OK. First of all, hilarious. Second of all, great Georgeisms. Third of all, so typical of George with his super evilness, and with his "gonna need a driver", just hilarious. Finally, George was already a philanthropist during the entire Season 8, and we can presume into Season 9, but we just never see it happen, with Susan's Foundation.)

Cut to Elaine who tells Kramer that the Vest called, but she's super ugly with her makeup and hair all over the place b/c of the steam, to which Kramer says, "Yama - Hama! It's fright night!" and then answers that with her sub card that she's been waiting for and done crazy stuff to get, she will receive: "(Embarrassed) Free sub. (Starts to leave) I'll see ya.", and Kramer's "Yeah." with a not so bright look on his face, actually not, it's a look of pity, but I just love Groundhog Day. Then hilarious and classic Kramer Opening His Big Mouth:

(Gwen walks by, she's in her attractive state)
GWEN: Kramer, Hi!
KRAMER: Oh, hello. (No idea who she is and is taken aback by her beauty)
GWEN: It's Gwen.. We met .. at the coffee shop.
KRAMER: Ah-huh. (Still lovestruck)
GWEN: I'm dating your friend, Jerry..
KRAMER: Ahh.. I don't know who you really are, but I've seen Jerry's girlfriend, and she's not you. You're much better looking - and like, a foot taller. (Classic Kramer. Hilarious. And then Kramer's stupidity and insanity mixed together to somehow comeout that she is a foot taller! HILARIOUS!!!)
GWEN: That's why we're always hiding in that coffee shop! He's afraid of getting caught.
KRAMER: Oh, he's a tomcat. (Totally not caring that he's getting his best friend in trouble with this gal. Hilarious.)

Elaine meets the Vest, who's name is Steve, but in classic Seinfeld fashion is named Denim Vest in the credits, to which he was gonna pull some moves on Elaine "back at his place" where the card was, and b/c of the steam asks if she has the mumps or typhoid, gives her a standard fake and says Kramer's "Yama - Hama!" and Elaine's "Blimey!". Also, I must note here, that Ander, one night while we were in Dougie's in Manhattan this past year, told me that he noticed that the number on the truck belonged to the Azzari Bros., which we had written down in the Siyum, but we never realized that it was a hidden joke, referencing Seinfeld Production Designer Tho. E. Azzari. Kudos to Ander. Kudos. (Also, while watching a brand new Siyum with Bruchie, I came across the same truck of the Azzari Bros. in 6:5 The Couch.)

Cut to Kruger telling George that:

KRUGER: George, we have a problem. There's a memo, here, from accounting, telling me there's no such thing as the Human Fund.(In hilarious Krugeresque fashion, enunciating the syllables.)
GEORGE: Well, there could be.
KRUGER: But there isn't. (Classic, hitting the memo, hilariously)
GEORGE: Well, I - I could, Uh, I could give the money back. Here. (Holds it out)
KRUGER: George, I don't get it. If there's no Human Fund, those donation cards were fake. You better have a damn good reason why you gave me a fake Christmas gift. (Again, classic Kruger, totally not caring about the $20k, but why he got a fake Xmas card. HILARIOUS!)
GEORGE: Well, sir, I - I gave out the fake card, because, um, I don't really celebrate Christmas. I, um, I celebrate Festivus.
KRUGER: Vemonous? (Not the author of this script writes "venemous" as you can see, but I think it's "feminist", but I could be wrong. I think mine is funnier.)
GEORGE: Festivus, Sir. And, uh, I was afraid that I would be persecuted for my beliefs. They drove my family out of Bayside, Sir! (HILARIOUS!!! HILARIOUS!!! HILARIOUS!!!)
KRUGER: Are you making all this up, too?
GEORGE: Oh, no, Sir. Festivus is all too real. And.. I could prove it - if I had to.
KRUGER: Yeah, you probably should.

HILARIOUS! Cut to the Festivus dinner at Frank's house which basically ends the episode and is so packed with laughs that I'm gonna include the rest of the script, unadulterated, with my bolded comments of course in (parentheses). Nice.:

GEORGE: Happy Festivus!
FRANK: George? This is a surprise. (Looking at Kruger) Who's the suit? (Hilarious. Who's the suit. Just hilarious)
GEORGE: Yo, dad. This is my boss, Mr. Kruger. (Trying to cover up for his father's not so nice comment about his boss)
FRANK: Have you seen the pole, Kruger?
GEORGE: Dad, he doesn't need to see the pole.
FRANK: He's gonna see it.
(Enter Jerry and Elaine. Elaine is still ugly from the steam)
GEORGE: Happy Festivus! (Sees Elaine) Yama - Hama! (Kramer's tradition continues)
ELAINE: I didn't have time to go home. What are you doing here?
GEORGE: Embracing my roots.
JERRY: They nailed you on the 20 G's?
GEORGE: Busted cold. (Immediately answering Jerry, in typical Seinfeld fashion)
(Cut to Kruger and Frank)
(They're looking at the Festivus pole)
FRANK: It's made from aluminum. Very high strength-to-weight ratio.
KRUGER: I find your belief system fascinating. (Now, I always found this puzzling. I don't know anything about metals, especially their strength-to-weight ratio, so I can hear this to be funny in two different respects. The first is that he's making fun of Frank b/c of his crazy Festivus holiday. The second is that since he's in Industrial Smoothing, he knows all about metals, especially their strength-to-weight ratio, and knows that aluminum does not have a very high strength-to-weight ratio, but on the contrary a very low strength-to-weight ratio, and it is for that reason that he is ridiculing Frank.)
(Enter Kramer)
(Kramer's with the two bookies from Off Track Betting)
KRAMER: Hey! Happy Festivus, everyone! (Hugs George, and jumps up and down) Hee, hee, hee! (First of all, hilarious that these two sleazeballs are in the hallowed home of Frank and Estelle Costanza. Second, that Kramer is laughing it up with them while entering the house. Third, that he is filled with festive non-restrained jubilation as well as the holiday spirit for such a stupid holiday with no significance whatsoever. Fourth, him jumping up and down with George while hugging him is just hilarious.)
BOOKIE: Hello again, Miss Benes. (Super sleaze)
ELAINE: What are you doing here?
BOOKIE: Damnedest thing.. me and Charlie were calling to ask you out, and, uh, we got this bagel place..
KRAMER: (Finishing the story) I told them I was just about to see you.. It's a Festivus miracle! (HILARIOUS!)
(Estelle comes through the kitchen door, hitting Kramer as she opens it) (HILARIOUS!)
ESTELLE: Dinner's ready!
FRANK: Let's begin.
(Everyone sits around the table. Kruger recognizes Kramer..)
KRUGER: Dr.. Van Nostrand? (Brilliantly linking to 9:7 The Slicer)
KRAMER: Uh.. that's right. (HILARIOUS!)
(Cut to Frank)
FRANK: Welcome, newcomers. The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you're gonna hear about it! You, Kruger. My son tells me your company stinks!
GEORGE: Oh, God. (George, trying to show his boss that his father is nuts)
FRANK: (To George) Quiet, you'll get yours in a minute. Kruger, you couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe.. I lost my train of thought. (HILARIOUS)
(Frank sits down, Jerry gives a face that says "That's a shame". (HILARIOUS) Gwen walks in)
GWEN: Jerry!
JERRY: Gwen! How'd you know I was here?
GWEN: Kramer told me.
KRAMER: Another Festivus miracle! (HILARIOUS!!!)
(Jerry gives Kramer a death stare. (HILARIOUS!!!) He shuts up. Gwen notices Elaine)
GWEN: I guess this is the ugly girl I've been hearing about.
ELAINE: Hey, I was in a shvitz for 6 hours. Give me a break. (Nice)
(Gwen leaves, Jerry follows)
JERRY: Gwen. Gwen, wait! Ah! (runs back to his seat) Bad lighting on the porch. (Nice)
ELAINE: (To bookie) Hey, how'd my horse do?
BOOKIE: He had to be shot. (While Charlie is sticking out his tounge b/c he either thinks that he's Michael Jordan, or an even better answer would be,

BECAUSE HE'S THE BIGGEST SLEAZEBALL ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH!!!)

Cut to H&H Bagels during the closing credits, where Kramer drops some gum he was chewing into the dough, and tries to extract it around his finger, when his boss walks in, all done perfectly hilariously by Kramer, at which point he's fired and Kramer thanks him. Overall, this episode was so hilarious with nearly every scene making my crack up. The consistency of laughter and just sheer and utter brilliance of all of the different characters, both old and new, combined with an amazing script gives us this perfectly planned and executed Top 5 Episode.

Adam - Coming soon

EPISODE GUIDE from Jerry Seinfeld: The Entire Domain by Kathleen Tracy

166."The Strike" (December 18, 1997)

SUMMARY George, Elaine, and Jerry attend Tim Whatley's Hanukkah party. George dreads Festivus, a holiday his father created many years ago. Elaine tries to retrieve her coupon for a free submarine sandwich. Kramer goes back to work at the bagel place, which has been on strike for the past twelve years. Jerry starts dating a girl whose appearance seems to change.

DIRECTOR Andy Ackerman

TELEPLAY Dan O'Keefe, Alec Berg, and Jeff Schaffer

GUEST CAST Daniel Von Bargen (Kruger); Karen Fineman (Gwen); Dave Florek (Harry); Kevin Hamilton MacDonald (Denim Vest); Tracy Letts (Counterguy); Amit Itelman (Employee); Stacey Herring (Sandy); Colin Malone (Sleazy Guy); Jerry Dixon (Customer)

RECURRING CAST Bryan Cranston (Tim Whatley); Estelle Harris (Estelle Costanza); Jerry Stiller (Frank Costanza)

Stats

2nd Siyum

Dates/Boyfriends/Girlfriends
JERRY
Gwen
Girls Who Broke Up With Jerry
Gwen - He was going out with an ugly girl at the same time

Contact List
Azzari Bros. Moving and Storage - 555-0830

Oh He’s a BLANK
Oh He's a Tomcat

3rd Siyum

Tours

Full Script